342: “Whatever Comes Through Me Comes for Me First,” with Nicole Antoinette
Oct 1, 2023
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Nicole Antoinette, author and creator economy expert, shares insights on recognizing when it's time to say goodbye to something and the challenges of letting go. She discusses the future of the creator economy, shutting down her successful Patreon, and making tough decisions. Key takeaways include paying attention to when your creative light starts dimming, the importance of setting boundaries to avoid burnout, and the exploration of sustainable business models.
Pay attention to the dimmer switch of your creative light and notice when the spark starts fading.
Challenge the notion of continuous growth in the digital landscape and redefine what 'enough' means to you.
Deep dives
Embracing Change and Finding Resilience
In this podcast episode, Nicole Antoinette explores the importance of embracing change and finding inner resilience. She shares her personal journey of overcoming codependency and people-pleasing by embarking on a challenging hiking adventure. Nicole emphasizes the need to listen to our own needs and trust our intuition when making decisions, even if they involve ending certain projects or changing our course. She discusses the concept of 'enoughness' and the importance of defining it for ourselves, rather than subscribing to societal expectations. Nicole also explores the tendency to portray extreme experiences of vulnerability or shine in content creation, and advocates for finding a middle ground that aligns with one's values and authenticity.
Reimagining the Creator Economy
Nicole examines trends in the creator economy and the pressure to constantly produce content. She emphasizes the need for digital togetherness and shared humanity in online spaces, rather than rapid content consumption. Nicole explores the concept of simplicity and the desire for more meaningful, less overwhelming online experiences. She encourages creators and consumers alike to challenge the notion of continuous growth and reassesses what truly constitutes 'enough' within the digital landscape.
Navigating the Pitfalls of Performative Vulnerability
Nicole discusses the pitfalls of performative vulnerability and the need for authenticity in content creation. She highlights the importance of maintaining a balance between sharing genuine personal experiences and avoiding the pressure to constantly reveal more for the sake of attention. Nicole encourages individuals to define their own boundaries and intentions when sharing vulnerabilities, and to focus on creating meaningful connections rather than seeking validation or becoming one-dimensional figures in their content.
“So many things in my past were painful because I stayed on too long.” How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to something, no matter how good it may seem or how hard it is to leave? For today’s guest, Nicole Antoinette, staying too long created a pattern of “scorched earth change,” where dramatic moves became the only way out.
In this conversation, we discuss where she thinks the creator economy is heading, why she shut down her successful Patreon, and how she makes tough decisions about what to leave behind: whether it’s a romantic relationship, a job, a friendship, alcohol, or one of her biggest income streams.
More About Nicole: Nicole Antoinette is a writer, long-distance hiker, and former indoor kid who never imagined she’d wind up spending months of each year pooping in the woods. In 2017, stuck in a loop of codependency and people-pleasing, Nicole set off to find her self-belief and inner resilience by doing something she did not for one second believe she could actually do. The results are two adventure memoirs, How To Be Alone: An 800-mile hike on the Arizona Trail, and What We Owe to Ourselves, and a weekly newsletter on Substack called Wild Letters.
🌟 3 Key Takeaways
Think of your creative light on a dimmer switch: Is your work helping you feel alive and vibrant? Notice when the dimmer starts going down. As Nicole says, “I start have a sense that the heat or light is leaving something, I am not as energetically pulled any longer.”
Dig deeper to break the burnout cycle: While in a period of creative recovery, consider not just what a more sustainable business model looks like, but a more regenerative one.
Just because you can handle something, doesn’t mean it’s what is best for you. “Over and over again, I have been shown that wanting to change is reason enough, wanting to walk away from something is reason enough,” Nicole says. “98 plus percent of the time, it's not that I don't know what I want, it's just that it's easier to say I don't know than it is to say, ‘I know exactly what I want, but I'm afraid that I can't have it, or I don't know how to get it.’”
✅ Try This Next: Break out of the all-or-nothing mindset. Give yourself permission to end things early, with grace—and no other “good” reason than you want to—before you reach “scorched earth” burn-it-all-down mode from staying too long.