18. How To Be More Of Yourself with Vasavi Kumar

Welcome back to The Brave Table! Question for you—do you ever feel not like yourself? I don’t just mean feeling off your game or in a funky mood—I’m talking about a deep, to-your-core, soul-level feeling of not being the real you. 

Who are you when you’re not the person your parents expect you to be? Who are you when you’re not in a relationship with a partner who has certain projections of you? How do you know what lights you up if you aren’t always trying new things, exploring, and giving yourself permission to reinvent yourself? 

When I think about the ultimate reinvention queen, going from the conventional to completely UNconventional, I think of today’s guest, Vasavi Kumar. 

Vasavi has lived many lives. She grew up a first-generation Indian immigrant in a household with strict rules that expected her to follow a conservative life path like her parents (her mother was a cardiologist; her father an accountant).  

She tried it out for a while, going to an Ivy League school, getting married to a traditional and conventional Hindu man, and becoming a therapist—all the South Asian ‘good girl’ checks. But ultimately, Vasavi was a brown sheep, and never did things just because. From a young age, she wouldn’t take no for an answer, and was always asking the question—why?

As she began asking herself why and questioning her own life—her marriage, her career, her likes and dislikes—everything changed. Following a divorce after 4 years of marriage, changing careers, a battle with drugs and alcohol, and refusing to be her family’s scapegoat, Vasavi stepped into her power and became the impactful coach she is today (and a chef, and a stand-up comedian—she’s seriously dabbled in it all!)

Vasavi poses a powerful question that she would ask herself as she sought out new life experiences that I’d love for you to ponder as you listen: How do you get closer to yourself? 

How do you break free from the expectations others have placed on you and get closer to the truth of who you truly are? 

Some of the juicy nuggets you’ll get out of this episode:

- Reparenting yourself, and how to practice what you wish your parents had given you

- Softening into your feminine energy, staying in your power even when you’re confronted and being real, not performative

- How to cope with shame, guilt, and secrecy in your family around topics like mental health, substance abuse, and divorce

- Dealing with feelings of abandonment when you’re not supported by your family and countering them with radical self-love 

- Being multi-passionate and always seeking out experiences and new ways of being to better understand yourself and love yourself

- Breaking free from giving your energy to trying to fix everything around you and channeling it into healing yourself instead

- Examining the role you play in your family unit and establishing boundaries

- What are trauma bonds and how to break free of them so you can thrive

If you liked this episode, you’ll also want to check this out…

- Vasavi’s work at https://www.vasavikumar.com/ and follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mynameisvasavi/ 

- Listen to her podcast, Say It Out Loud with Vasavi. 

- Listen to my episode on Healing Generational Trauma & Breaking Free From Asian Immigrant Parents.

- Learn more about pursuing your purpose—and perhaps even becoming a coach like Vasavi—in the episode How To Know If You Are Ready To Pursue Your Purpose & Change Your Life.

Thanks for listening! I hope this episode inspired you and gave you your daily dose of bravery. If you enjoyed it, I would be so grateful if you could leave a 5-star review so you can help others find the show. Thank you for being here with me, and see you next week!