Love and marriage in a post-truth culture

Summary: Dr. Jim Denison and Dr. Mark Turman discuss biblical marriage, Jim and Janet’s forty-year marriage, the true value of authenticity, the culture’s twisting of it, and how godly marriage can be a light in our dark culture, which has lost its way in reference to sex and marriage. 

 

Show notes: Dr. Jim Denison and Dr. Mark Turman discuss marriage and the cultural breakdown around the institution of marriage. To begin, they discuss some observations about the culture made by New York Times columnist David Brooks, whose pieces on culture are insightful and clear.

 

They take a break from that discussion to talk about Jim and Janet’s forty-one years of marriage. Jim reflects on the beginning of their relationship, their early years, and how Janet’s partnership in ministry has impacted the kingdom. 

 

In this, they unpack the new wave of valuing authenticity, the positives, and negatives of what this term can mean in modern culture. On the face of it, authenticity, genuineness, is a Christlike characteristic. Mark shares how authenticity continues to be one of the core values at Crosspoint Church, where he previously pastored. The focus on authenticity seems to be a reaction to the career-driven approach to life by the previous generation. 

 

At the same time, this good value is conflated to finding that authenticity in oneself, in pride in who you are. It becomes personal, identity-driven, and about finding “your truth.” It has even become militant and adversarial. This could easily be driving a great deal of animosity over politics. They discuss how biblical authenticity and cultural authenticity differ. 

 

In marriage, it becomes critical to get your core identity from Christ, not your spouse. We must pursue Christ first and foremost; that way we don’t become unhealthily co-dependent on our spouse. While we welcome and celebrate support, and that’s a huge part of marriage, neither spouse should need the other. Contrary to the selfish view of the culture, that relationships are contracts that we get what we need out of them, marriage should be covenantal. 

 

The effects of this cultural shift are evident: fewer couples are marrying, and so fewer are divorcing, dating is decreasing, and pornography is on the rise. The most important place for our trust in Christ. As Jim once heard from his youth pastor, you must find “your worth not in who you are, but in whose you are.” Then, authentic community is needed, which can only be found in a local body of believers. We’re often missing that in our culture today as well. 

 

Jim and Mark then unpack two foundational passages on marriage in Genesis 1 and Ephesians 5 and what it means for our lives and marriages. Marriage is about service, not selfishness, and this acts as a window into the church and Christ’s love. Not only does this witness to your spouse, but to your family, friends, and culture as well. Jim uses the example of Martin Luther and his wife and how their marriage exemplified Luther’s teaching that clergy can live godly lives while married. 

 

Godly marriages will act as a light in this dark culture and a window into the revelation of the love of Christ. 

 

Resources and further reading:

 

• The Four Loves – C.S. Lewis
• “America is falling apart,” and The Second Mountain – David Brooks
• I and Thou – Martin Buber
• Halftime: Moving from Success to Significance– Bob Buford
• “No, I’m not over January 6th”– Russell Moore 

 

About the hosts 

 

Jim Denison, PhD, is the CEO of Denison Ministries and the author of The Daily Article. He received his PhD in philosophy and Master’s in Divinity from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. 

 

Dr. Mark Turman is the Executive Director of Denison Forum. He received his DMin from Truett at Baylor and previously served as lead pastor of Crosspoint Church.