Smart Girl Dumb Questions Why Is Love Harder Now? with Esther Perel
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Sep 30, 2025 
In a captivating discussion with Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and author known for her insights on relationships, they delve into why love feels harder in modern times. Esther explores how feminism has reshaped romance, the allure of traditional roles, and the emotional toll of consumerism on dating. She reflects on the decline of crushes with age and how quality relationships can enhance longevity. With her trademark candor, Esther examines the intersection of trauma, risk, and intimacy, offering transformative advice for lasting connections.
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From Duty To Feeling-Based Bonds
- Modern relationships shifted from duty and community to feelings and personal authenticity.
- That shift creates freedom but also prolonged uncertainty in negotiating relationships.
Feminism Changed Expectations, Not Overnight
- Feminism opened doors but social change needs generations to fully integrate.
- People now must design relationships, which demands knowing what you want and being authentic.
Obligation Offers Clarifying Certainty
- Obligation and duty offer certainty that many now miss amid modern freedom.
- Authenticity is prized today even when it erodes relational stability and obligation.
