Poet and writer Elisa Gonzalez contemplates her journey as a poet and reflects on the changes in her writing over time. She engages in a conversation with her past self, exploring the limitations of her younger writing. The podcast also discusses the themes of intimacy, truth, and understanding in Elisa Gonzalez's poem 'To My Twenty-Four-Year-Old Self', as well as the struggles of being truthful with friends and the unbridgeable distances in life.
A poem can capture the vast distances and feelings of isolation we experience between our past and present selves, emphasizing the power of self-reflection and self-acceptance.
The poem explores the inability to fully bridge distances, both physical and emotional, highlighting the importance of genuine honesty and self-awareness in forming authentic connections.
Deep dives
Intimacy with an Older Woman
The poem explores a 24-year-old's intimate connection with an older woman living in the opposite apartment. The 24-year-old seeks to bridge their isolated feelings through sex, but acknowledges that it doesn't fully overcome the distance. The poem reflects on the changing perspectives of the speaker over time, as it is addressed to the 24-year-old self by an older version of the speaker. There is a longing for honesty and self-knowledge, questioning why the truth was concealed and why the 24-year-old felt embarrassed. The poem contemplates the importance of authentic connections and self-acceptance.
Unbridgeable Distances
The poem depicts various forms of distance and border-like limitations. Even physical proximity between the apartments is unable to be fully bridged. It highlights the inability to turn back time and the longing for the self to possess more knowledge to navigate life. Despite age-defying creams, there's a recognition that time cannot be halted. The poem explores the desire to cross these boundaries but acknowledges the restraint and the creation of lies within lies as a defense mechanism. It ultimately suggests that true connection requires genuine honesty and self-awareness.
Reflecting on the Past and the Present
The poem prompts introspection and conversation with one's past selves, examining moments of change and growth. It considers the differences before and after significant events or periods in life, contemplating the knowledge gained through experience. Rather than simply giving advice, the poem encourages noticing and understanding the self across different stages of life. It emphasizes the power of observation to bring awareness to present moments and foster a deeper understanding of oneself.
Our lives are filled with distances, the physical spans that we travel but also the stranger, vaster expanses between our past and our present or between feeling anchored and connected and feeling terribly alone. A poem can capture all of those in a way that a map can’t, as Elisa Gonzalez superbly demonstrates in “To My Twenty-Four-Year-Old Self.”
Elisa Gonzalez is a poet, essayist, and fiction writer. Her work appears in the New Yorker, New York Times Magazine, Paris Review,and elsewhere. A graduate of Yale University and the New York University MFA program, she has received fellowships from the Norman Mailer Center, Bread Loaf Writers' Conference, Rolex Foundation, and the U.S. Fulbright Program. She is the recipient of a 2020 Rona Jaffe Foundation Writers’ Award. Her debut poetry collection is Grand Tour (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2023).