In today’s show, our interviewee Yoda, a chef and author by profession, recalls a traumatic and deeply personal experience from her teenage years.

This show starts with Yoda recalling her life as a 17-year old adventurous teen. Her story revolves mainly around Louis, her childhood friend. As is common in formative years, Louis developed feelings for our interviewee. However, Yoda was dismissive of these affections.

To escape the monotony of small-town life, Yoda shares that she took to underage drinking and drugs. On finding herself alone on a Thanksgiving weekend, she decided to throw a big party where alcohol and drugs were freely available. Unfortunately, this evening of “harmless fun” had a tragic and unexpected twist.

At the party, Louis was shocked to see her with another guy. When Louis tried to express his feelings and Yoda, high on drugs, failed to acknowledge those feelings. Deep in emotional turmoil, Louis walked to a friend’s place, found access to a firearm and shot himself in the head.

The next morning, Yoda got a call from Louis’s mother, who was understandably quivering with rage. 

Yoda rushed to the hospital where she met Louis. Still, in ICU and under psychiatric supervision, Louis was not willing to talk about what had transpired. Fortunately, the bullet had missed Louis’s brain, and he had survived.

While Yoda tried to reestablish connection with Louis after this incident, eventually they drifted apart with Louis starting a new life in another town.

Yoda shares the guilt and shame that she experienced after this incident. Moreover, as her reputation took a hit, many of her friends started to avoid her.

We are forced to contemplate several questions after hearing this rather tragic story of teenage emotions. For instance, should Yoda blame herself for Louis’s failure to take rejection in his stride? Should teenagers deal with their peers and friends more sensitively? And, is it possible to recognize beforehand such depressive tendencies among children?

Towards the end, Yoda shares how after years of personal turmoil, she has finally managed to forgive herself and move on with her life.

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