Why am I Never Enough?

Parental messaging in childhood, even without qualifying as a disorder, can strongly impact feelings of inadequacy, leaving in their wake the message of “never being enough.” This is especially true if one or both parents were on the spectrum of narcissisticattitudes and behaviors. Parents with narcissistic traits often cannot adequately provide empathy, unconditional love, and acceptance to their children. Healthy attachment and secure separation and individuation are based on experiencing these same qualities unconditional of the child’s performance. An image-oriented world view based on how things look, especially to others, does not tolerate authenticity and imperfection. It also is intolerant of people associated with these characteristics. Learning, growing, developing children are particularly vulnerable to the fear, shame, and feelings of abandonment of “not measuring up.” A legacy of unmet emotional and developmental needs is often expressed behaviourally by trying to please, looking to others for cues on how to be “good enough,” accepted, and loved, without which the foundation for self-esteem and self-reliance is severely compromised. Tune in and learn how to create the life you want!