We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Boris Johnson says he “can’t remember” the PIN for his secrets-stuffed phone. Dog ate my homework or what? Courage of soccer star Dele Alli: he talks of being abused as a child and his mental health problems. The Government’s stingy pay deal for teachers and doctors. And should we ban gorillas from using mobile phones?

Miranda Sawyer goes on a newsprint binge with not one but TWO Parliamentary sketch-writers: John Crace of the Guardian and The Critic’s Rob Hutton.

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Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Produced by Sophie Black. Audio production: Alex Rees. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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