Our identity is multifaceted, but people love the simplicity and tend to reduce people to a singular trait, which objectifies them. This reduction leads to violence, in part because it allows an "us vs them" narrative. Amartya Sen points out the ramifications in his book "Identity and Violence".
To consider it personally, we look at Martin Buber's "I-thou" to show how most of the time we are in an "I-it" relationship to the world, and must "self-surrender" to have an "I-thou" whole relationship, and not objectify others.
Ryder closes out with David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water" in which to be a better person we must be attuned and aware, even imaginative. Matthew Crawford counters that unfortunately, even Wallace remains stuck in his had manipulating mental models to relate to the world as a good person. The solution, says Crawford, is to take action in reality by engaging with others and the world.
https://www.letusthinkaboutit.com/step-58-identity--violence/
0:00 Intro
3:56 Part 1: reductive Identity
7:38 Part 2: I-it, I-thou
11:57 Part 3: Mind Games
17:09 Outro