Jonathon Aslay: Better Dating Through Cultivating Self-Love And Healing Childhood Trauma

Nov 24, 2020

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Get ready for a fast-moving show that will offer you a brand-new perspective on dating, self-worth, and self-love. In this episode, Jonathon Aslay reveals why dating itself can trigger our deepest fears, shares the 4 Pillars of A Successful Relationship, and breaks down the ways in which we can transcend the flawed modern dating scene to have deeper, more meaningful, more successful dates and long-term romantic partnerships. And it starts with the common denominator in all of your failed relationships: you!

That’s right, dating success starts with cultivating self-love and healing childhood trauma. Jonathon is the author of What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway, a book about healing from grief and childhood trauma to cultivate self-love. Jonathon leverages his message to the unique challenges of the modern dating scene. He is a dating coach specializing in mid-life and purposeful dating ― helping clients transcend the usual obsession with chemistry to become more self-aware and understand what Jonathon calls the 4 Pillars of successful relationships: Chemistry, Common Values, Blendable Lifestyles, and Emotional Maturity. Jonathon is the real deal, having overcome an assortment of personal setbacks to rebuild his life and gift his message to others. After losing his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018, Jonathon was forced to acknowledge what he’s suspected all along: that dating strategies are often too one-dimensional to have a meaningful impact. Instead, it’s the act of dating itself that brings out what he feels is the number one emotional health issue facing singles today: a soul-deep lack of self-worth and self-love.

Today, Jonathon is on a mission to encourage both men and women to adopt a daily practice of self-help, personal development, and spirituality, so that they may find true inner happiness, purpose, and peace. With these practices, individuals will attract the relationship of their dreams — and Jonathon is here to help along the way.

Enjoy listening to this fun, informative (and quite useful!) show with Jonathon, and if you want to connect with him or learn more about his work, check out his website here.

TIMESTAMPS:

Jonathan Aslay is a dating coach and expert specializing in midlife and purposeful dating. [01:38]

Jonathan’s four pillars for successful dating are chemistry, shared values, a blendable lifestyle, and emotional maturity. [03:00]

In the dating realm, old memories of “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not lovable” come up. [05:15]

After using the dating profile system, Jonathan realized that he was good at interpreting both men’s and women’s profiles and that’s how his business came about. [07:35]

The greater issue in dating is not just biology and attraction, it is more a healing of our childhood wounds and traumas. [08:44]

Emotional maturity is one of the key pillars of a relationship. If people don’t take responsibility for their choices, they are not emotionally mature. [11:12]

The physical connection is nice but to sustain a long-term relationship, you need blendable lifestyles. [16:33]

Romance should be reserved for relationships and not just for dating. [18:13]

More women than men ask for help from this dating coach. [21:22]

In modern times, the way people meet and get together is so different from the past. [23:15]

It took Jonathan over 100 failed dates to realize the common denominator in them all was Jonathan himself. [27:23]

Self-love means self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance, self-respect. [23:45]

Can we assume that most everyone has some wounds from their childhood upbringing and are lingering? [30:54]

We can either look inward or look to blame the outside world. [31:58]

Sadly, people are dating myopically….just thinking about what am I getting here? rather than respecting the other’s feelings. [41:18]

Ask value-based questions on that first date. [46:38]

It is important to be honest and straightforward in communicating how you see the relationship. Are you looking for a partner? Are you just having fun? Benefits? [52:40]

It’s not necessarily rejection. It is a misalignment. It is an awareness. [54:09]

Biology makes up a small percentage of the other person’s personality. [56:15]

Meeting up with a stranger is a challenge, these days. [01:04:41]

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