Why You Always Feel Responsible for Everything and What Your Body Is Really Trying to Tell You
Aug 30, 2025
Do you feel responsible for everyone else's emotions? This podcast explores the concept of protection mode, rooted in childhood trauma, where your nervous system operates like a relentless security monitor. It reveals how this state leads to chronic fatigue, emotional isolation, and a hyperactive need to control situations. Learn about neuroception, our body's internal safety gauge, and why past chaos shapes adult behavior. Insightful tips on fostering inner safety help listeners understand the journey from protection mode to healthier connections.
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insights INSIGHT
Neuroception Runs Constant Safety Calculations
Neuroception is our body's continuous background calculation telling us if we are safe or in danger.
If neuroception detects more danger cues than safety, we stay in protection mode automatically.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Parenting Mirrored Her Own Protection
Dr. Aimie describes foster-adopting Miguel and noticing his intense protection mode and closed heart.
Seeing Miguel's defenses reflected her own pattern of living protected and emotionally distant.
insights INSIGHT
Trauma Triggers Protective Posture
Trauma creates sensations so unbearable we vow never to feel them again and shift into protection mode.
Protection shows as a shame posture: collapsed shoulders and bracing to cut off internal sensations.
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Do you carry everyone else's emotions like they're your personal responsibility? What if that crushing weight isn't your personality, but your nervous system still running on childhood survival biology?
When you feel like everything depends on you - fixing problems, managing emotions, preventing disasters - your body is operating from what I call protection mode. This isn't about being caring or responsible. It's complex PTSD showing up as hyperresponsibility, and there's specific biology behind why your nervous system won't trust others to handle anything.
Think of protection mode like living with an internal security system that never turns off. Your shoulders stay braced, your nervous system scans for problems to solve, and you exhaust yourself trying to control outcomes that aren't actually yours to manage. Meanwhile, everyone else seems to relax while you carry the mental load.
In this Biology Behind It mini episode, I break down the highlights from Episode 136, explaining why adults who experienced childhood chaos still live with their hearts protected and an exhausting need to manage everyone else's stability.
How protection mode creates the physiology of chronic responsibility and hypervigilance
The hidden costs of living protected: sleep issues, chronic fatigue, muscle tension, and autoimmune problems
Why you can't be in protection mode AND connection mode simultaneously - they're opposite physiological states
How childhood experiences of "I never want to feel that way again" create lasting protection patterns
The difference between telling yourself you're safe versus creating actual inner safety
Why waiting for someone else to make you feel secure keeps you stuck in survival biology
Practical somatic approaches to shift from protection mode to authentic safety
Whether you're the person everyone calls when things fall apart or you're supporting someone whose strength might actually be stored trauma, this episode reveals why your nervous system refuses to let others take responsibility. I give you the roadmap back to trusting life enough to finally let your guard down.
The Biology of Trauma® With Dr. Aimie