Navigating Giving with an Unbelieving Spouse with Ron Blue

Feb 3, 2025

Ask episode

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

You want to give generously to your church, but your non-believing spouse objects. What do you do?

We occasionally get that question, and it’s a situation that must be handled with care. If you or someone you know is in that position, don’t miss today’s program, as Ron Blue is here with some sage advice.

Ron Blue is the co-founder of Kingdom Advisors and the author of many books on biblical finance, most notably “Master Your Money: A Step-by-Step Plan for Experiencing Financial Contentment.”

Biblical Principles for Giving in Marriage

There are two key biblical principles to consider when navigating giving disagreements in marriage:

Marriage is more important than money. While generosity is an important biblical value, unity in marriage takes precedence.
Submission and honor in marriage matter. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” emphasizing mutual respect in financial decisions. Likewise, Matthew 19:6 affirms that a husband and wife “are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Ultimately, financial decisions—including giving—should be made together, with mutual understanding and agreement.

Ron’s Personal Story: When His Wife Wanted to Tithe

Ron has firsthand experience with this issue. When his wife, Judy, became a Christian, she wanted to tithe. But at the time, Ron was not a believer and giving was the last thing on his mind.

Instead of forcing the issue, Judy decided to remain silent about it for two years. However, she lived a transformed life, which was compelling to Ron. Her quiet witness ultimately softened his heart and led him to faith in Christ.

This aligns with the biblical wisdom of 1 Peter 3:1-2, which encourages wives to live in such a way that they may win their husbands to Christ “without a word, by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Judy’s patient, godly approach allowed Ron to come to faith in his own time, and ultimately, they found joy in giving together.

Building Unity in Giving as a Couple

Once Ron became a Christian, he and Judy intentionally set aside time to align their financial goals—including giving. Twice a year, they would take a weekend away to pray, discuss their finances, and determine their giving goals.

Ron’s perspective on giving is clear:

The tithe is a starting point. Giving should go beyond the tithe, as generosity is a way to break the grip of money on our hearts.
Giving should be joyful and unified. When spouses give together in agreement, it becomes a source of great joy.

As Ron says, “The only way you can break the power of money is to give.”

Practical Steps for Couples Navigating Giving Disagreements

If you and your spouse are struggling to agree on giving, consider these steps:

Prioritize your marriage. Remember, God values unity in your relationship more than any specific financial contribution.
Listen openly. Take time to truly hear your spouse’s concerns and seek to understand their perspective.
Share why giving is important to you. Explain what generosity means to you personally and spiritually.
Find a giving framework you both can support. This might mean starting small, gradually increasing giving over time, or designating funds for causes you both agree on.

At the end of the day, God doesn’t need our money—He wants our hearts. And He wants our marriages to reflect His love and unity. If you and your spouse are wrestling with this issue, focus first on fostering understanding and alignment. When you give together with a joyful heart, the blessing is even greater.

If you’d like to read more on this topic, Ron Blue’s full article on this subject is featured in our new quarterly publication, Faithful Steward. To receive it in your mailbox every quarter, become a FaithFi Partner at $35 a month or $400 annually at FaithFi.com/give.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

My husband's business distributing for a bread company has fallen apart. He was forced to resign, and they slandered his name. We only have $300 left and had a small business loan. What should we do?
I received a letter in the mail stating that my student loans were put on some kind of permanent disability that I had never applied for. The letter mentioned being affiliated with a teacher, but I'm not a teacher. I don't know if this is a scam or if it's legitimate. What should I do?
I'm calling to learn how to help my 20-year-old granddaughter start building credit. She needs to get a credit card and establish a credit history to buy a car in the fall. She works full-time but doesn't have any credit history yet. What's the best way for her to start building credit?
I'm 55 years old and plan to retire in about 10 years. I recently filed an insurance claim for roof damage from a hurricane, but the claim was denied. Should I use the money in a money market account to replace the roof, or should I get an equity loan from the bank to pay for it?

Resources Mentioned:

Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.