Episode 57 - "Overcoming Fake Talk"...Guest Interview With John R Stoker

Have you ever had a conversation that just didn't get results?  Or even worse, one that felt completely fake?  On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview John R Stoker, author of "Overcoming Fake Talk - How To Hold Real Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results."  This is a fantastic new book (available at "overcomingfaketalkbook.com", by the way) that will show you how to have more productive conversations.  Whether this is with a co worker, a teenager, or a boss, you'll find it to be highly useful!  

Fake talk is any conversation that no matter what is said, just fails to produce results.  You may be under the impression you received a commitment from somebody or that somebody is going to do something.  But what ends up happening?  Nothing.  We typically don't find out we've engaged in fake talk until after the fact, which is extrememly frustrating!  

One of the reason's people engage in fake talk is because they are conflict adverse.  Most of us don't enjoy getting in situations where think we will disappoint them or make them angry.  This causes us to steer conversations around productivity in favor of not causing conflict.  However, most of the time when we are avoiding confrontation it's because we assume there will be a problem. This, many times, is just an assumption. Don't assume that somebody will necessarily be mad (unless it's blatantly obvious).  You never know how they will react.  In addition keep in mind...many times THEY want to avoid conflict too!