“It's normal that athletes hit adversity and they're nervous, but they don't typically have the skills to navigate through all of that.” – Coach Bre

Does your kiddo spiral after one bad play or mistake in their sport? Do they lack confidence in themselves? Breanne Smedley, or Coach Bre, who helps girl athletes improve their mental game — and helps moms support their athletes.

I never expected to be a sports mom, but here I am with a high school volleyball player, trying to find the right way to help her. Unfortunately, most coaches aren’t trained to help kids in face adversity or develop resilience, so you can’t rely on your kid’s coach to help them develop their mental game.

As moms, we want to help them manage the pressure, but don’t know what to say. Coach Bre works with both athletes AND moms to grow a new generation of confident girls who excel and find joy in their support.

We talk about:

What to do if your kids don’t want to talk after a practice or game
The LOVE framework — let her lead, open the space, validate the emotion, encourage reflection
Making sure we don’t only focus on the amazing achievements when we give praise
Helping kids see their identity beyond being an athlete
Teaching kids snapback routines
Dealing with coaches — looking at tough vs toxic

ABOUT COACH BRE

Breanne Smedley or Coach Bre is the co-founder of the Elite Competitor, where she’s changing the game by making mental training accessible and effective for girl athletes. Coach Bre is a former college athlete and four-time state championship volleyball coach. She combines her background as a longtime educator with a proven system that helps girls build confidence, bounce back from mistakes, and play with resilience under pressure. Through her signature program, The Elite Mental Game, she’s helped thousands of athletes—and their moms— transform how they show up in sport and life.

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DOABLE CHANGES

At the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Change comes from action.

Doable changes are things that you can add into your life, one at a time to make micro shifts and really create a ripple effect that will create a big change over time. Choose one that really piques your interest and roll with it.

Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:

LISTEN WITHOUT FIXING. We all want to fix things for our kids, assure them that they are good at what they do, but that doesn’t really help. Try validating their feelings and making space for them to talk more instead of offering solutions or praise.
RESET YOUR POST-GAME EXPECTATIONS. Your kiddo might be grumpy or want space after a tough game or practice. They might not want to analyze every play. They may not feel like going to dinner and being polite. Adjust your own expectations and let them take the lead on that ride home.
SHIFT YOUR PRAISE. We can unknowingly set expectations for our kids by lavishing praise for major achievements. When we praise hard work, effort, leadership, not giving up even when things aren’t going right, we help set the bar a different way.

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