Big Think How productive arguments can bring us closer together _ Bo Seo, Esther Perel, and Dan Shapiro
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Oct 15, 2025 Engaging in effective arguments can actually bring people closer together. The discussion highlights the decline of productive debate in society and how our tribal instincts can hinder understanding. Listeners learn strategies to navigate disagreements constructively and the importance of empathetic listening. By embracing different perspectives, conflicts can transform into opportunities for connection and personal growth, ultimately fostering stronger relationships.
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Disagreement As A Lost Skill
- Bo Seo argues our ability to disagree has atrophied and we default to instinctive defensiveness.
- Restoring argument as a practiced skill could reduce divisive, painful debates.
Tribal Identity Fuels Hardened Conflict
- Dan Shapiro links heated conflict to threats to identity and tribal dynamics.
- Once we attach to a tribe, content matters less and us-vs-them thinking overrides nuance.
Disagreement Enriches Relationships
- Bo Seo contrasts Hobbes's advice of civil silence with the richer value of disagreement.
- Avoiding arguments narrows experience; selective, skilled disagreements build truth and growth.