How Amy's Autism Discovery Ended Her Good-Girl Era

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Amy Permann, a writer and Substack creator who discovered she’s Autistic in her 50s after decades of burnout, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.

Together, Angela and Amy discuss self-diagnosis, trusting intuition, unlearning pressure, and why self-acceptance is a radical act of care.

🪑 Attendees

Chair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocate

Guest: Amy Permann — Autistic writer and creator of Seeking Authenticity

You: The Listener!

🗒️ Meeting Agenda

• Opening remarks from the Chair
• Member introduction: Amy’s journey from “good girl” to self-advocate
• Discussion: Misdiagnosis, boundaries, and self-trust
• Key learnings from the meeting
• Club announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting

1️⃣ Opening Remarks

Angela opens by asking: What happens when your entire life is built around expectations that were never yours?

She welcomes Amy as a club member who’s learning to unlearn—redefining success, self-care, and what it means to live authentically.

2️⃣ Member Introduction: Amy’s Story

After years of therapy and being the “good daughter,” Amy learned she was Autistic — not broken, not oversensitive.

Her diagnosis followed her niece’s, sparking a journey through online communities, self-assessment, and finally, a validating experience.

3️⃣ Discussion Highlights

• Parentified and People-Pleasing: How early responsibility shaped Amy’s self-image.
• The Good Girl Mask: Why pressure isn’t a motivator — and why saying no is survival.
• Trusting Your Own Intuition: Unlearning the habit of assuming others know best.
• Medical Gaslighting & Boundaries: Why autistic women often stop seeking care — and how Amy’s learning to ask questions again.
• Living Authentically: From checklist living to joyful presence — finding beauty in small moments, cats, and nature.

4️⃣ Key Learnings

• You can’t heal by pleasing everyone.
• Autistic women deserve support that trusts their self-knowledge.
• Self-diagnosis and formal diagnosis are equally valid paths to clarity.
• Living authentically means honouring your timing, your needs, and your truth.

📣 Club Announcements

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🎙️ Executive Producers: Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.

🎧 Producers: AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris.

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