THE FAMILY OUTING: Secrets, Memory, and Living Authentically
Nov 30, 2023
45:29
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Journalist and podcaster Jessi Hempel discusses her memoir 'The Family Outing' in which she reveals how her immediate family members came out. It explores living authentically, the unreliability of memory, repairing relationships, centering others' experiences.
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Quick takeaways
Embracing the idea of coming out beyond just sexuality challenges societal expectations, encouraging people to share their authentic selves.
Memory is subjective and influenced by personal emotions, highlighting the importance of embracing uncertainty and practicing grace and empathy in disagreements.
Deep dives
The Importance of Coming Out
Jesse Hempel reflects on the impact of coming out on her own family. She shares how her entire family went through the process of coming out, with each member hiding their true identities for years. Jesse emphasizes the importance of embracing the idea of coming out beyond just sexuality. She encourages people to share their authentic selves, challenging societal expectations. Jesse's own journey of self-acceptance and understanding her family's stories taught her the value of living authentically.
Unreliable and Personal Nature of Memory
Jesse delves into the unreliable and subjective nature of memory. She shares personal experiences, such as a collective phone call with her parents that they do not remember. Jesse acknowledges that memory is influenced by personal emotions and perspectives, and it can change over time. She highlights the significance of embracing the uncertainty of memory and developing a sense of grace and empathy when disagreements arise.
Listening and Empathy
Jesse highlights the importance of truly listening when someone tells you who they are. She reflects on her initial reaction when her brother came out as transgender and how she wish she had responded differently. Jesse encourages individuals to set aside their own fears and biases and create a space for people to be open about their identities. By actively listening and centering other people's experiences, we can better understand and connect with them.
Putting Boundaries and Self-Care
Jesse emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. She shares the challenges her family faced during difficult times, such as her parents' turbulent divorce. Jesse discusses the importance of taking care of oneself in order to be present and supportive for others. By understanding and respecting one's own needs, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
This week, journalist and podcaster Jessi Hempel joins us to discuss her recent memoir, “The Family Outing,” which tells the remarkable story of how every member of her immediate family came out: Jessi and her father as gay, her sister as bisexual, her brother as transgender, and her mother as the survivor of a traumatic encounter with a man who may have been a serial killer. It’s a dramatic setup, to be sure, but as the book unfolds, it grows into something else — a powerful and thought-provoking meditation on what it means to live authentically.
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