#14 "I Haven't Dated Since 1999": Listener Question from Jennifer, 48
Aug 17, 2023
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The podcast explores the influence of dating apps on self-perception, the importance of self-improvement in dating, and rethinking numbers when dating later in life.
Dating apps contribute to viewing ourselves and others based on numerical attributes, hindering the dating experience.
Decoupling weight loss from dating can allow for a holistic representation of oneself and sustained attraction.
Deep dives
Reframing Numbers in Dating
In this episode, Jennifer, a later dater who recently became single after her husband's passing, seeks advice on whether she should lose weight before she starts dating. The host discusses how later daters often think in terms of numbers and statistics, which can become a hindrance in modern dating. She highlights how dating apps contribute to viewing ourselves and others based on numerical attributes such as age and weight. The host suggests decoupling weight loss from the possibility of dating, encouraging Jennifer to see both goals as separate but equally valid. She recommends using weight loss as an opening for others to get to know her and to offer glimpses into her thoughts and interests related to health and well-being. Ultimately, the host emphasizes that sustained attraction comes from overall holistic health, rather than achieving a specific weight.
Redefining the Numbers
The host challenges Jennifer's inclination to view her weight loss journey as a closed door and suggests reframing it as an opportunity for people to get to know her better. By separating the desire to lose weight from the possibilities of dating and meeting new people, Jennifer can present a more holistic picture of herself. The host encourages Jennifer to shift the conversation around weight loss from feeling self-conscious to actively seeking personal growth and improvement. She emphasizes the importance of respecting and caring for one's body and suggests that sustained attraction is more influenced by how individuals perceive and care for themselves rather than their body size.
Rethinking Personal Numbers
The host introduces the concept of rethinking numbers and statistics in one's life, particularly for later daters. She encourages Jennifer to reconsider the significance of the numbers she mentioned, such as the year of her last date and her desired weight loss. The host urges Jennifer to reflect on the changes that have occurred over time, highlighting the growth and resilience she has developed as a single mother raising three children. She invites Jennifer to adopt a new perspective on numbers that highlights her emotional strength and personal evolution. The host concludes by emphasizing the importance of developing a healthy relationship with one's personal stats and numbers, allowing individuals to shape and share their narrative on their own terms.
Why you should listen to this episode: A tendency among Later Daters is to let numbers get in the way of moving forward. Numbers seem like facts and simple true statements until we kick them around a bit. Whether its age, height, weight or years, it's worth building a solid relationship with the numbers in your life.
Who's a Later Dater? Anyone who feels they are dating later in life, or feels like they are just getting their head wrapped around how they want to date in today's world. Dating later in life has changed. And Later Daters often have the know-how and connection skills from pre-dating app days. Learn more at www.thelaterdatertoday.com. Book a free Discovery Call: www.thelaterdatertoday.com/discovery-call
Lakshmi was named among the "Best Guests of 2023" on tech and culture podcast PIVOT with Kara Swisher & Scott Galloway. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/best-friends-of-pivot/id1073226719?i=1000639439067
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https://www.buymeacoffee.com/later_Lakshmi
The Later Dater Today is a podcast all about dating Later In Life but mostly the 45-59 window. This overlooked and often misunderstood part of the dating timeline is both under-discussed and wildly undervalued. Host, Lakshmi Rengarajan has been trying to bring both innovation as well as an analog approach to how we date today for the past 15 years.
Episodes every Friday and follow us on Instagram for bite size servings of ideas from the podcast. Follow us there: https://www.instagram.com/the_later_dater_today And be sure to visit us at the The Later Dater Today.com , sign up for our email list and please send us your questions!
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