Applying Japanese Wisdom in Counselling with Ai Kihara

"I believe when I sleep at nighttime I die. Then when I wake up I got a new life." These powerful words from Ai Kihara set the tone for a profound conversation about finding meaning through Japanese wisdom traditions.

Based in Auckland, New Zealand, Ai brings a unique perspective to mental health practice, drawing from her heritage as a descendant of both spiritual practitioners and samurai. She offers refreshing insights into concepts that have become misunderstood in Western culture—particularly Ikigai. Far from being merely a "dream job" formula as popularized in Western books, authentic Ikigai can be something as simple as enjoying ice cream or seeing a friend smile. This flexibility makes it a remarkably effective tool in suicide prevention, where Ai has witnessed how redirecting attention to even the smallest source of meaning—like remembering to feed a pet cat—can create the crucial connection needed to choose life.

The conversation delves into several Japanese therapeutic approaches that challenge Western assumptions. Where Western treatment for depression often emphasizes activity ("do something, work hard, exercise"), Morita therapy takes the opposite approach—rest, do nothing, don't think, until natural motivation returns. Central to this practice is Arugamama—accepting things exactly as they are without judgment. This radical acceptance creates the foundation for genuine healing by acknowledging reality rather than distracting from it.

Equally fascinating is Ai's personalized Naikan practice, which she's maintained for over 30 years. Each night before sleeping, she reflects on what she did for others, how others helped her, and what she learned from her experiences—a simple yet profound practice that maintains her connection to purpose. Her integration of Zen concepts like Ichienso (perfect circle) into art therapy helps clients visualize wholeness while acknowledging life's impermanence.

Whether you're interested in alternative approaches to mental health, seeking deeper meaning in your own life, or simply curious about Japanese philosophy, this conversation offers valuable insights into how ancient wisdom can address very modern problems. Listen now to discover how small moments of meaning might transform your perspective on what makes life worth living.