Achieve Real Behavioral Change by Shifting Your Patterns, with Adele Spraggon, Award-Winning Author

Achieve Behavioral Change by Shifting Your Patterns with Adele Spraggon

Jenn DeWall:

Hi everyone. It’s Jenn DeWall. And in this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I sat down with top  behavioral change expert, Adele Spraggon. Adele is an award-winning author, thought leader and international speaker and trainer. In 2020, she was awarded the Woman of Inspiration award. And in 2021, she was recognized as the top behavioral expert of the year. Huge accolades! Her book, Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment, has won three awards and is sweeping the globe, transforming how people are setting and achieving their goals. I hope you enjoy Adele and my conversation as we talk about how to repattern and reprogram your brain, as well as at the end, talking about how organizations are now supporting this effort too.

Meet Adele Spraggon, Award Winning Author and Behavioral Change Expert

Jenn DeWall:

Hi everyone, it’s Jenn DeWall. And on this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, I am sitting down with behavioral change expert Adele Spraggon. Do you know who she is? If not, you need to know who she is. She is a behavioral change expert. What does that mean for you at work? Well, she can help you develop greater or better patterns, better re-wiring. So you can be the best leader that you can be. Adele, thank you so much for joining us on the show today. I’m so happy to have you.

Adele Spraggon:

Thanks, Jenn. Lovely to be here.

Jenn DeWall:

So, Adele, let’s, how do you even become, like what, what does the journey of a behavioral change expert look like? How did you come to be interested in this subject, and what do you do today with organizations?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, that’s a great question. My background is in personal development. So I worked for one of the leading personal development companies in the industry. And I did that for about 15 years, Jenn. And the problem was is that everything that I was teaching in terms of mindset and positive thinking and affirmations and to get to your comfort or get past your comfort zone. None of it worked for me. So I was teaching this and fully believing in it. But at the same time, I wanted my own entrepreneurial venture, and I started three of them, and I quit three of them, one after another. And so, every time I got to the brink of success, I would just turn tail. I would run. There was no amount of affirmation, positive thinking, mindset, pushing past your comfort zone that could get me over that hump. And so I started to ask myself, okay, I said to myself, this cannot solely be me. After 15 years of doing this, there is something off with our operating instructions. So I went to University, I got my master’s. I wanted to study the human brain and how we think, and how our mind actually works. And sure enough, I discovered that we were using the wrong operating instructions. And so, I created a new set of operating instructions. I’ve been teaching that for 10 years. The results are remarkable, and that is how I became a behavioral change expert.

What are “Patterns”?

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. And I love that. And I know we’re going to talk about it, too. Just, you know, that none of them, I’m sure there are some listeners right now that can relate in the sense that all of those personal development books, you know, they, they give me all these tips, mantras tools, but for some reason, they’re just not working. And I love our conversation because it’s really going to get into understanding how your brain is patterned and how those patterns can impact, you know, and determine how you react in a situation versus at that subconscious or unconscious level versus maybe how you want to, or what you need to do to repattern. Because as you say, in multiple parts in your book, you know, mantras aren’t necessarily the effective thing to get you the behavioral change that you want to see. Just maybe from starting from like a scratch or a foundational point, what are patterns?

Adele Spraggon:

Well, that’s a great question. So if you think about your brain, our human brain is locked behind this bony skull, in it’s in this dark and silent room, and it has no actual connection to the outside world. The only thing that our brain has to go on is these electrical impulses that are flying through these neural pathways, right? And each of those electrical impulses delivers a particular experience of the world around us. So we think that we’re relating to the actual situation we’re in, but we’re not. What we actually see, feel, hear, think, and smell is given by and neural pathway that pre-exists in the brain. So if you think about your brain in that way, you start to see, oh, hang on a minute. All of this, looking at the outside situation that I’m in— all of this— how do I change my way of communicating. All of this, how do I become a better leader? Just working on fixing what is going on around us or fixing what our thoughts are. That’s actually not where everything is originating, and it’s originating in those pre-existing channels that we have to address first if we’re actually going to make effective change.

Jenn DeWall:

I like the initial distinction that you made in terms of your brain isn’t connected to the outside world. It’s not, you know, physically connecting to it. Everything that it gets is the data that you put into it, through your experience, through a host of things. Yeah.

Adele Spraggon:

The best way to see the brain is by predicting or making the best guess as to what is going on around it. Right?

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah. So your brain is essentially just based on what you’ve programmed into it; it’s then having a response for you. At what age are we starting to actually program in kind of these, these patterns? I mean, is that just something that you’ve had patterns, your whole life? It just started there. Because it feels like there’s the age where we don’t notice that the patterns are being formed and that all of a sudden, we find ourselves, maybe not liking our job, overreacting to a situation. And that’s when we start to be like, oh, could there be something done? And I think even most people don’t even look there. They again look for the mantras. So when did the patterns begin?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, that’s a great question. So unlike other animals, which are born intuitively knowing what to do in this world, human beings are born a blank slate. So we enter this world, and we very, very quickly have to piece together patterns in our brain because patterns take action. Without an act, without a pattern, a person will not have action. Okay. And that’s important to remember. So from the moment, we’re born, every situation that we get through that we survive, we get to the next situation. The brain just takes whatever was happening at that time and just stored it away for future use. So very, very quickly, this brain is piecing together patterns. And a lot of our patterns are created before the age of five, six years old. Then throughout childhood, we continue to create these patterns. In adolescence, there is a massive burst of pattern creation again.

But by the time we get to adulthood, around the age, 27, 28, that pattern creation starts to slow down. Now that does not mean that we did not have the capacity to be wire—one of the most amazing findings that are coming out of neuroscience. So we’ve known for a number of decades is that the brain is constantly re-wiring itself. It is. It has what is term plasticity when it’s always trying to upgrade itself. The problem is two-fold. One, once you have a pattern for a situation, the brain prefers to rely on that pattern rather than creating a new one because it’s the fastest route to action. That’s all the brain cares about

Jenn DeWall:

Efficiency.

Adele Spraggon:

That’s, that’s what it’s into right now. If you hit a situation where you don’t have a pattern or that pattern that you do have doesn’t line up with the situation, then your brain will re-wire. But at this point, it happens spontaneously— what I like to teach as a method to take that from spontaneity to happening systematically so that when you’re in a situation that doesn’t work for you, you can upgrade the brain on demand. And that’s where we’re going in the future.

How do you create Behavioral Change by Shifting Patterns?

Jenn DeWall:

How does working with brain patterns, you know, thinking about brain patterns, knowing that we just talked about other personal development methods that people have tried and that you found? I know that I found them too. Not all of them work. Right? I know in the book you talk about mind over matter, like what stuff doesn’t work, but how does working with brain patterns different from the traditional approach of maybe working with someone on personal development methods or standard or the more, I guess, popular personal development methods that you see?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So you literally step out of one identity into another. So I’m going to give you an experience from my life. When I repatterned my pattern for quitting, so let me just describe what was going on because that might help. So every time I was, as I said, I started a new business. I was super excited initially. And that excitement was given by a neural pathway in my brain by a pattern that pre-existed in my brain. I’m very creative. That also is a pattern in my brain, and then I would be going along this path and then boom, I would hit this boredom, and I’d be going, what is going on? Okay, great. The question is not what is going on. Please. Don’t ask yourself that question. The thing you need to say to yourself is, oh, I have a pattern that is somehow hitting boredom when I get to this stage on the path. That’s what I have to say to myself.

So what did I do? Well, knowing it’s a pattern, you can then go in and re-wire the brain. So as to remove that boredom. So now what happens? Well, I literally stepped out of one identity in which quitting was my only option into another identity in which you just don’t quit. There’s no need to force yourself. There’s no need to push yourself past. There are no mantras required. There’s no positive thinking required, or it is just, oh, okay. I was this way. I no longer have that pattern. I am now this way because I am now a brand new identity,

Jenn DeWall:

That is powerful to be able to think about stepping in from one to another. And when I think about, you know, brain development, this is maybe more of a curiosity question. So knowing that the brain is constantly, you know, or it has the possibility to create new patterns, what’s the commonality between our patterns and the personalities that we have. Because as you were talking and sharing like, Hey, I have a tendency to get maybe bored easily. Is it that some of us are looking at what our personality style is instead of thinking about what’s our pattern or because you’re, and maybe it’s because this is just top of mind because it was a topic we just taught at Crestcom, but it is interesting because in personality styles, you know, the notion is that that’s something that’s fixed. But if we look at it in the form of patterns, like maybe my personality style, you know, I hate being bored. But if I look at that as just a pattern for how I perceive the world, that would be a different approach. And it would cause me to find different solutions because I wouldn’t be mining it from the perspective of personalities. That’d be mining it from the perspective of patterns. Is this too conceptual, Adele? Am I going too far? Like in terms of even how this contributes to the personalities or the types of leadership styles that we have.

For Lasting Behavioral Change, Let Go of Blame and Shame

Adele Spraggon:

I love this question because we live, Jenn, in a world of blame and shame. Do you know what I mean by that?

Jenn DeWall:

Tell me because I have my own experience that feels blame and shame, but I want to hear it at the broader level. I’m a great blamer and shamer for myself.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. And aren’t all of us, frankly. Right? We are so quick to say there’s something wrong with me. I can’t do this. Something incorrect about how I’m doing this. Okay, great. How did we get to there? Because we have been taught that we are a personality and identity, a self. You’re being taught that there is an authentic self that you need to find. You have been taught that when you’re doing something wrong, it is because there is something wrong with you. I like to say in life, there are problems. Life is a series of problems. One after another. Now that’s not bleak.

That is life. Right. But how we’re not taught to see life in that way. Do you know how you’re taught to see problems? Problems are mistakes. I did something wrong. Right? Okay. So when we start to play in the world of patterns, when you see that, the only thing that our brain is- is these neural pathways, these electrical impulses. And that’s all it is. Right. Thank you. You can start to say to yourself, and again, this isn’t going to sound bleak, but I’m going to have to re reword it or re-flip it. There is no identity here. There is nothing that is Jenn. There is nothing that is Adele. There are just patterns, and it is patterns all the way down. And now there’s huge freedom and empowerment in that. It’s like, oh, okay. I am arriving as somebody who is bored, that is very different than I am a bored person. I am arising inside this pattern as somebody who is bored. And I have a technique, a tool to repattern that now who will I be? Whoa, who knows. And that’s amazing because who you’re going to be then in the future is wide open. And it’s like, there isn’t one singular path that you have to walk down and correct as you go; it’s the future is just, who are you going to be? Let’s find out!

Removing Old Patterns Without Judgement

Jenn DeWall:

See, I don’t necessarily see that as bleak. Like, you know, an opportunity within to say, you know, what, if something is not working for me today, let’s find a solution. Not necessarily the mantras, but let’s examine and be curious about the pattern. Let’s figure out, you know, what the commonality is in there. And then how do we address that? I love that approach. So I don’t see it as bleak. I say it. I see it as, you know, taking responsibility that we can impact that.

Adele Spraggon:

And can I change one word?

Jenn DeWall:

Please do you’re the expert

Adele Spraggon:

Please do. You said I think he used the word correct or change. No. How about we just remove it? Like, that’s really powerful. How about we stop trying to fix ourselves because there’s nothing to fix. There’s nothing broken. You are a pattern maker. Your brain is a maker. That is how it works. All right. Some of those patterns right now are obsolete. They’re old, and they were aligned with a different situation at one point in your past. They no longer align with who you want to be today. How about we just go in there and remove that.

Jenn DeWall:

I would love that. Can you do that? I have so many different things. Could you help me be less judgmental? I mean, you talked about the period of blame and shame. Like yeah, I am an overly. I’m one of those people. That’s extremely ambitious. But at the backend, I completely kicked my own butt. Every single time I make a mistake, I do something wrong. Maybe you say the wrong answer. Even though I just didn’t know, and I was doing my best. And if you could give me a tool to say, Jenn, you actually don’t have to respond in that way. In this life. You can think of identified new patterns that help you like that is a new lease on life. That is not bleak. That is an opportunity for how you want to spend your precious time here. Am I right?

Adele Spraggon:

Exactly. Exactly. We are not fixed personalities. We’re not fixed beings. We aren’t fixed as in stable, as in static. We are patterns that are just constantly evolving and changing or ought to be. There is only one problem on this planet, and that is nobody is taught us how to upgrade an old pattern that no longer works. That’s it.

What Patterns do Leaders get Stuck In?

Jenn DeWall:

They just give you the tool. They give you the mantra. What do you mean? No, one’s taught you just push through it! Fake it till you make it, Adele! I mean, Right? That’s the solution that we have. So let’s go back to the basic level. Like how do patterns work? So how do they work in the brain, or what’s happening? And then we can go into talk about some, of them. Maybe ones that you’ve seen in your experience that maybe are typical leadership patterns that leaders might have.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So I’ll give you an example, which is in my book. But this is a really amazing example of how leadership patterns show up when they don’t work. And then when they work. And so I worked with one of my participants, her name is Rose, and she’s given me permission to share this story. And she was recently hired in a nonprofit organization. And one of her job responsibilities was running the meetings, the weekly staff meetings. Well, she noticed very, very quickly that these staff meetings would be derailed often. Okay. And once she was able to notice, because she was aware, she had a lot of personal development background. What she was aware of was that she was allowing these meetings to get derailed because the men in the meetings were extremely powerful, and she was intimidated by them. Now, how would typically a leader be taught to deal with that?

Well, a number of different ways, right? One way would have been learned, go to the men and ask them to cooperate. Tell them what you’re feeling. Tell them this is not going well. Let’s talk about this. Let’s find a way to cope, right? Okay. Not effective. And I’ll come back to why. The second way she might have dealt with it, and it’s gone and complained to her boss or fired a couple of these men. She was the manager, after all. Right, like got him or her to deal with it and still not affect him. And I’ll come back to why the third way may have been to get more, get more leadership training, right? Be a better communicator, learn how to deal with those, those meetings better, still not effective. I’ll come back to why. All of these things are partly may work, may not work, but Rose at least knew about patterns.

She had started working with me, and she knew that there were brains in her pattern, sorry, patterns in her brain that were causing her particular actions, behaviors, and beliefs. Now, what were those? Well, we can actually say, but here’s what we knew. We could see the result. The result was the meetings were getting derailed. Great. That’s where Rose started. Because I’d like you to think about your brain as an iceberg at the top of the water are all of your actions, all of your behaviors, all of your beliefs under the water, we are going to place those patterns. Patterns give rise to actions, behaviors, beliefs, in Rose’s case. She could see that whatever she was doing was not keeping these meetings on track. Fantastic. That’s where we started. I gave her the tool to remove those patterns, okay. To stop being intimidated by these men.

And now what happens? Well, the very next meeting, she goes in, and the meeting runs smoothly. The men paid attention. One of the main men came up to her right after the meeting. He said great meeting. What happened? Well, did she stand a little straighter, for example? Was she stopping conversations in their track? Yes, of course, she was doing all of these things, but not because she knew to do these things, but because her pattern was now aligned with the meaning. She was now a different person who led the meetings differently. And that’s what makes pattern-making so effective. She literally stepped out of that identity in which she was intimidated into another identity in which she just wasn’t. And at that point, everybody around her changed. That’s powerful leadership.

Jenn DeWall:

Yes. That’s powerful leadership. And before I comment on that, I do want to say that for those that are listening, we are talking about some pieces and tools and ideas that are from Adele’s book, Shift: The Four Steps to Personal Empowerment. And so that’s the book that we’re referencing, and we’ll let you know how you can get that at the end of the show. But I love that option of stepping from one identity into another, and you know, the, what speaks to me when I even think about that end outcome or feeling like maybe she’s not heard the meetings are being derailed. You know, I think of one thing, and this is probably a little bit vulnerable, but if anyone has gone through trauma, you might know. One experience that I had to work through very much when I was early on in my career.

Any time there was an authoritative figure, typically a man, and it’s a result of my childhood. I would become meek. I would probably sweat profusely. I would cower like a child. I hated being seen. And I just lost. I could be the most competent person, five minutes before that in a conversation with someone else. And then the second that that executive leader came into the room, it completely changed how I even showed up. And so when I hear that, that took me such a long time to even create an awareness around why I did that, you know, that’s therapy, right. To understand what my challenges were in. Gosh, I feel like you’re giving a tool to people that, you know, by even focusing on what do you do or what’s the outcome? Do you start them with curiosity around, like, why do you think that curiosity? Like, why do you think you’re getting this outcome? Is that the next step? Is it kind of that curiosity notion?

For Permanent Behavioral Change, First Identify the Problem

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. Well, the beautiful thing about knowing how our brain works is we don’t actually need to know the solution. All we have to do is identify the problem, which is really powerful. So how did I work with Rose? Well, the first thing she looked out was okay. The meetings are going off the rails. So I said to her, all right, what is between you and the goal you’re trying to accomplish? So she said, well, I’d love these meetings to go on track. I would love these men to listen to me. And to have them stick to the strategy that I’m trying to do. I said, perfect. So what’s between you and that? She said, well, frankly, you know, like every time one of them glares at me, I just shrink. I said, perfect, that’s your behavior. You’re shrinking into yourself. Right. She said, and then I giggle. I do this most stupidest thing.

I said, good. That’s, that’s your action. You’re giggling when you shouldn’t be right. And then she said, oh my gosh. And I have this belief that I just looked like a fool up here at the front of the room. I said, wonderful. That is your belief. So that’s fantastic. That’s where we start now. I said to her under each of those, then,  runs a pattern. And our job is just to remove that pattern. So I gave her the four-step repatterning technique, which is in my book. And she just worked on removing each of those patterns over the course of the week. Now, as she comes into the room, again, she is no longer somebody who feels like she’s making a fool of herself. She’s no longer somebody who giggles. She’s no longer somebody who is shrinking and is intimidated, right. Because, you know, I always say to people, there’s no logic in patterns. They were created. When you were little, you didn’t have to know the originating incident. All you have to know is the result that is arising today. But you know, they worked at the time. Being intimidated by authority figures in her case was probably the correct thing to do, to shrink that, to be small. Great. That, that point when she was a kid that worked really well. Today, it just no longer works, not good or bad. It’s just, oh, there’s a pattern that just no longer works. Yeah.

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah. I just, I’m eating this up. Like what our typical, so that one is pretty, you know, I love that example. Do you feel like there’s got to be just a host, right? Based on our own uniqueness of complex patterning that we all have. And I’m curious about your experience. I know you work with organizations. You work with individuals. What are typical leadership patterns that you’ve observed that people might have, maybe at a higher level?

If You Have a Goal, You Need a New Pattern to Achieve It

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So, you know, I mean there, every person is unique because of our, all of our patterns are unique. So typically, though, there are leadership patterns that we want to achieve, right? So effective communication. Effective creative solutions, being able to guide your staff through or your employees through, to those effective solutions. These are all things that we want. So let me give you new operating instructions. Okay, guys? The first thing you want to do is set your goal. So you’ll have a leadership goal or something that the team is trying to create together. There’s a vision. Fantastic. Your next job is not to ask, how do I get to that goal? Your next job is to ask, well, what is between me now and that goal? So let me just back up for a moment. If you have a goal, it is a sure sign that you do not yet have the patterns to accomplish that goal. Okay.

Jenn DeWall:

If you have the goal, it’s a sign that you do not have the patterns to accomplish the goal. Okay.

Adele Spraggon:

Does that make sense?

Jenn DeWall:

I don’t know. Like if its the goal, you would think that well, if I, you know, if I think that I can do it, so in my head, I got, I’m not versed in this. So in my head, I’m like, no, because if you think that you can accomplish it, or you can accomplish it, but I want to hear that. So if you have the goal, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have the patterns to support it?

Adele Spraggon:

That’s right. If you had the patterns, it wouldn’t be a goal. It would be a realization. It would be an accomplishment.

Jenn DeWall:

Ah, okay.

Adele Spraggon:

So it’s the fact that you have a goal that immediately tells me you lack the patterns to get to that goal. Great. That’s where we start. So your next question is, all right, why do I not have that goal today? Now you’re going to come up with a list of beliefs, a list of behaviors, a list of actions. And it might be as simple as, I don’t know the steps to take. Great under there, there lies a pattern. It might be as simple as well. I haven’t communicated that goal. Great under there, there lies a pattern. And so we just take this list of what you’re doing, what you’re not doing, what you’re believing, what you’re not believing, what you’re behaving as, what you’re not behaving as just simply recognize that under each of those, there’s a pattern remove each one. Then you will take a step towards your goal.

Where Do We Start Making Behavioral Changes?

Jenn DeWall:

That sounds– you know, because it is so layered, right? The layers of an onion. So how do you begin to, I guess, prioritize the pattern, you know, the one that you think, cause if we’re examining it and we’re finding, well, there’s a pattern into why I didn’t communicate it, or there’s a pattern as to why I haven’t done this. Is there some type of a hierarchy that we have to use when identifying the pattern to help us understand like this is your starting point. Maybe it’s my, you know, I’m just thinking of where’s the origin, what’s the start. And when it is that complex, how do you even begin to start processing all of that and say, where do I begin to actually like turn the page on this and actually go forward in exploring that path. Is there a way that you recommend people in terms of how you prioritize your patterns in terms of this is the one that is worth and necessary for you to change versus this is one that’s, you know, okay for the moment, or whatever?

Adele Spraggon:

That’s a really great question. I do a call that I call a deep-dive call, which is really identifying the actions, behaviors, beliefs that are the top of the iceberg. And the reason I do that is that when we get to the world of patterns, when you drop below the water, Jenn. Patterns are easy to identify. So I’m just going to give everybody, how do I identify a pattern? Okay. Yeah. A pattern is an intertwined physical sensation, emotion, and thought. When the three aspects of our being come together, it causes a particular action, a particular behavior, a particular belief. Okay. So we can identify, okay, what’s working and what’s not working based on how you feel, what you think and how your body is reacting to that situation. And if you’re empowered, confident, optimistic, positive, creative, brilliant, you probably have a pattern that works. If you’re depressed, anxious, scared, angry, you probably have a pattern that doesn’t work.

And that’s, that’s the only difference, right? Not good or bad, just one works, one doesn’t work. Okay, great. So when we get to the world of patterns, the world gets really simple. What am I feeling? What am I feeling then? What am I thinking? But at the level of action-behavior-belief, which is where we are taught to experience the world, that’s where things get complicated because we take actions that our conscious mind is not aware of. We hold beliefs that our conscious mind really doesn’t know that we believe they’re all in the subconscious. And that’s where a really powerful listener will be able to hear those and say, you know what, Jenn, I think maybe you ought to be let’s just go down that path a little bit. So you said X, why is that? Can you share a little bit more about that and what that powerful listener is doing is listening for those subconscious/unconscious patterns that then will come up to the surface. Okay. Did that answer your question? Yeah.

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah. The question that comes to mind too, because I think, and I read this in your book and I love this, you know, one of the institutes that I went to for my coaching certification, one of the ways that they have us typically start is with that thought determines what you do, or the action that you take, and then how you do it or the emotion that you feel. But one of the differentiators, and I know one of the differentiators that you make, is that we actually don’t really think first. We feel first. And I think that actually goes against how some people are actually, you know, maybe educated. And because I appreciate that. So could you tell a little bit more about why it’s not necessarily about focusing on the thought, like what’s wrong with me, it’s focusing on what your body is actually noticing, sensing, and feeling.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So one of the surprising findings that are coming out of neuroscience in the last few decades is that the unconscious regions of our brain light up first before the conscious mind considers the action it’s going to take. So that’s going to take something to understand. So I’m going to, I’m going to explain it this way. Let’s say that we could hook a person’s brain up with a brain scanner and watch what is going on in that brain. And let’s say that that person picks up their phone at two-thirty-six oh two, right? That brain scanner would be able to know that that person would go to pick up that phone. Two thirty-six-zero-zero a fraction of a second before they pick up the phone. Okay. They think they’re in control of that action. We honestly believe that we are choosing to pick up the phone, but when we know how our brain works, that changes everything.

So it is true that our emotions occur first. Before our thoughts, before our thinking mind comes in and says, I want to do something. The impetus to act is already occurring at the level of the unconscious. I like to say you want to know why your hand is in that cookie jar. That’s why it’s nothing to do with choice. It has everything to do with patterns. And I’m not talking habits here. I am actually talking about the unconscious guides the show like puppets on a string when it comes to that conscious mind. So if we’re going to change anything, we got to start at the level of pattern.

What’s the Difference Between a Habit and a Pattern?

Jenn DeWall:

So what’s the difference. Because you just brought that up, and I didn’t think to ask this, what’s then the difference between habit and a pattern?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Habits of repetitive actions that we do over and over and over again, but they’re still driven by a pattern. It’s just that that pattern happens to be, well-used call it that way.

Jenn DeWall:

So your pattern determines your habit. It’s not. That’s the easiest way to determine it. So they are different; whatever pattern you have will dictate. What type of habit you have

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How do You Shift Your Patterns for Real Behavioral Change?

Jenn DeWall:

Let’s, let’s dive into the meat of how do you even start? And I know that we went on two different tangents, and that was my bad, but how do we start to even get awareness and start to change our patterns and where I kind of took our conversation in a different direction was on identifying the pattern. And so, how do we start? Like where do we start to even change our patterns?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So when I teach a four-step technique, a four-step repatterning technique, it starts by identifying the pattern. So once we know what actions, behaviors, beliefs are in our way, once we’ve set that goal. And we said, okay, what’s in the gap? And we’ve come up with a list of actions, behaviors, beliefs. The next step is to identify the pattern that is driving that unwarranted, unworkable action-behavior-belief. So that’s a three. As I said, there are three parts to a pattern, physical sensation, emotional thought. It’s just a matter of identifying where do I feel that in the body. What is the emotion that goes along with that pattern? And then what is my thinking process along with that pattern? What’s my mental activity, right? That’s step one. Step two— We wouldn’t flip that switch. Remember I said that your brain is locked inside this bony skull, and there really has no access to the outside world.

Okay. So, you know, I’m looking at a tree right now, outside of my window. I really believe that I see that tree. I’m not. What I’m seeing is a neural pathway in my brain that is delivering tree, right. The experience of tree. Okay. So we need to flip that switch. We need to start owning what is going on in the outside world as the result of a pattern and not as a result of our situation. And that’s just a matter of owning that the pattern is a pattern. We actually use the words I created that. Right. But not from a position of blame, not from a position of I’m doing something wrong, but more from a position of, at some point in my past, I created that pattern, and therefore I own it. That’s powerful. Okay.

Jenn DeWall:

That’s extremely powerful to understand that. And I’m curious, like, you know, maybe you’ll touch on this too. Like what level of, what happens if you don’t take autonomy or excuse me, responsibility for creating that pattern, you know, then what does that look like in your life? But that’s a tangent. So many ideas are going through my brain right now, all through this conversation.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can answer that question, but let’s, let’s do the other two steps first and then remind me of that question. We’ll come back. So then the third step, now we have to do something interesting. Remember, I said that the most powerful thing we can do inside the brain is not to change a pattern. Because what that would mean is that you’re just using another pathway in the brain. But if you could do what you need to do, you would not have a goal. You would already have accomplished what you want to do. So what we need to do is remove the pattern that doesn’t work, and that’s step three. And we do that through a process of surrendering. The only way to do that is to get to the unknown. All right. So we, that’s a tricky step for some, but it’s very doable. Once you get it, you get it. It’s like, oh yeah. Okay. I can do this. And then once you do that, removes that pattern. All right. And then the fourth step is then to create that new pattern. But if we miss that step three, we’re just moving around an existing brain that doesn’t yet have the solution.

Taking Ownership—But Not Blame

Jenn DeWall:

So we’re just essentially keeping ourselves stuck because we’re not willing to take ownership and responsibility. So I guess that does come back to the question, what happens when we’re not willing to take ownership or take responsibility for that? That essentially means that we’re probably not even able to get to the point of step three because we’re not. I mean, we’re not obviously even at step one because we probably don’t see it as our challenge or our problem or faulty programming.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, no, that’s absolutely true. You know, once people understand patterns, then they willingly take ownership of the patterns because it’s so refreshing to be able to say, oh yeah, that’s mine. I can actually do something about that. But until we are taught about patterns, we really are a victim of our patterns. We really do end up just doing stuff and then not understanding why we do stuff. Behaving in ways that we didn’t expect to behave and going, what’s wrong with me—and creating that world of blame and shame internally and externally. And that’s what happens.

Jenn DeWall:

I think about the example of even, you know, I feel like I did a lot of learning and maybe this is for some people later on in life, tried, I made some mistakes. I’m like, oh, outside looking in. Here’s what I could have done. And when I think about even the first time that I received feedback, I initially went to that place of the victim, which is, well, this is me, this is me. And I can’t do anything. And so I guess like, what do you kind of see people? Where do you see people stunting in the process of feeling like, well, woe is me? I just, I can’t do it because shifting into responsibility, I see, can be a thing that some people are unwilling to do, or they’re still really holding on to maybe the blame. And they’re just not ready to even assign any or take any personal accountability for that. How do you overcome that resistance or maybe that pushback from people to want to take that responsibility for addressing it?

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. That’s a really great question. And every leader out there, I’m sure who is listening right now, is his ears open going, how do you do this?? Because it really is difficult if you’re trying to support somebody who you’re leading and they just don’t want to own anything, right. It’s like, no, that’s not me. I draw the blame on other people. So the first thing to do is the theory of repatterning is really a way to start. Because when you understand that there is, let me just back up for a moment. Are you, Jenn, responsible for your actions, your behaviors, your beliefs?

Jenn DeWall:

I’d say—Yes.

Adele Spraggon:

Ah, I say, no!

Jenn DeWall:

Oh No! Why?

Adele Spraggon:

Remember I said that that action-behavior-belief originates in the unconscious regions of your brain, and it is given by a pre-existing pattern. Right? So you are not responsible for anything that you do, anything that you believe or any behavior that you would adopt, but what are you responsible for? You’re responsible, but in the true sense of the word, as in able to respond to the pattern that gives rise to that action-behavior-belief. Okay. So when we know about the brain, when we know how this brain is working, there is no blame. There’s nothing that you’re doing that you’re choosing to do. Your patterns are choosing on your behalf. So the only thing you need to do is reflect back on the action that the pattern took and said, did that work? And if your answer is no, to know that it was just a pattern and to be, then have a tool in your pocket where you can remove that pattern. That takes all the sting out of everything. I mean, as pattern makers, I watched them blossom because they’re able to just take in all of whatever other people say, all of there and just go. Thanks for sharing that. I’ll take care of that. What do they mean by that? Thanks for sharing. I will go and take care of my reaction to what you’re saying by dealing with and removing my pattern, which is a reaction. That’s power.

Jenn DeWall:

That’s total power, but here’s my next burning question is how do you make it? Because I think it’s one thing to identify the pattern. And then it’s another to understand, like where you want to go, but then it’s the, how do you reinforce the new pattern? Because I imagine like, how do you stay on this new path of where you want to be versus falling it back to your default, subconscious? Like where, what would be your tips for that? Or how do you see people navigate that? So that’s gotta be the biggest challenge. We’ve had some bad programming and bad patterns for a long time.

Adele Spraggon:

Yes. Yeah. Great question. So again, we need to come back to the brain. Think about your old pathway in your brain that is connected like this. Okay. So for those of you who are just listening to the audio, I have my two front fingers together, and we’re just going to go in there, and we just want to gently tease that pattern apart. Remember that pathway is responsible for an action, behavior or belief. So we have a belief in our hand that says I’m small, or I can’t. Okay, great. It is just going to go in there. And we’re just going to tease that pattern apart and that channel, your brain has plasticity. The next thing that’s going to happen is it’s going to re-wire. It’s going to snap into brand new channels, and it will not have a void there in the brain. So it’s just going to re-wire itself. Now, do you think that you can possibly take that action again? The old action, the one that didn’t work, my action of quitting, can I go back and now be a quitter?

Jenn DeWall:

By now, you’re describing it? Yeah. Like you wouldn’t be able to, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it? Is that kind of it?

Adele Spraggon:

Once you upgrade the brain, you will not go back to old unworkable actions, behavior, beliefs. That’s got a brain is brilliant.

Jenn DeWall:

And for people then they’re like thinking like, I don’t like this, it can change. I can change these patterns.

Adele Spraggon:

Yes. Permanently. I’m not talking temporarily. Like we would with hypnosis or affirmations or positive thinking. This isn’t a temporary shift. This is a brand new person that arises into the space called you. A person who is now effective, where you used to be ineffective. Capable where you used to be in a capable.

Jenn DeWall:

How liberating, just to know that, like I don’t have to also live in that pattern. You know, I can actually truly put it to bed assuming that I did it in the right ways of being able to address it, overcome it surrender to it. Right. If we don’t use that, if you don’t surrender, that is just to me. So liberating. There’s just so much peace that comes with that sentiment of feeling like I can detach. It no longer has to be a part of how I see myself experienced my life. So on and so forth. So you’re basically giving the gift of peace to people, Adele.

Behavioral Change, Happiness, and Peace of Mind

Adele Spraggon:

I say happiness, peace of mind. That is your birthright. That is what your brain is designed to live. Like we have made everything so complicated only because we haven’t known about brain patterns. It’s only been in a few decades that neuroscience has had the brain scanners to be able to peek inside the brain and noninvasively. So all of this is brand new, and it’s going to revolutionize the way we do everything on this planet. Leadership is just one starting point, but it will revolutionize everything. And yet absolutely peace of mind, happiness, confidence. These are built into your brain when you know how to work the brain.

Jenn DeWall:

I love that. Like I know before our call, or before we actually started recording the podcast, you were sharing that you’re doing a lot of work with bigger corporate clients. I’m curious because again, we’re talking about something that I feel like CEOs aren’t addressing that they’re not talking about their employee patterning and what that needs to be, but how are you actually seeing companies, organizations, leaders start to really embrace this way of how we can look at, you know, making greater impacts or being the person that we want to be. How are you seeing them really embrace this approach of patterning or really human behavior? Like how we can, I guess, take part in that versus saying, we just want to train you to be able to do this skill.

Mental Illness and Old Patterns

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. So, you know, I mean, we were talking about whole beings, right? Like, like really creating corporations in which the whole being shows up rather than just the skill or the talent shows up. Right. And so what’s going on today, Jenn, that is creating the need for repatterning. Because one thing that we have to know as human beings is philosophies do not arise out of the blue. Okay. They arise because of needs. And there is a huge need that is arising today, which is causing us to have to rethink how we were looking at the brain. So what is that need? Every age has its plague. As I like to say, and ours is not COVID-19. Our plague is mental illness. Why, what’s going on? Well, when we look at the world today, we can see that the world is what I call speeding up.

Changes are occurring more and more rapidly. Yes. As more people come on this planet, more changes are occurring on this planet. The more the planet is speeding up. So what does that mean? Well, there was a point in history. Let’s go back 200 years where a person could create patterns in their childhood, and their life was stable enough that those patterns would carry them through to old age. And that’s no longer the case. Let’s face facts, right? Your life changes year over year, over year. Let’s forget decades. It’s changing that fast. And people today will need three or four different careers in their lifetime. That’s typical. I think that that was the latest stat, right? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So what does that require? Brand new patterns, right? You can’t rely on those old patterns. We’ve got to face huge changes, which are global. And the pandemic is just one of those changes that are going to come at as fast as in faster and faster. So this is why now corporations have to wake up and say, okay, I cannot just expect this person to come in and do this job because they’re dealing with all of these external stressors, which are pushing down on them, and the corporation has to be aware of that, or else you’re going to have massive amounts of absenteeism and presenteeism. Do you know what that means?

Jenn DeWall:

I don’t! Like they don’t, what’s presenteeism?

Adele Spraggon:

That’s when you have people coming up, draining the coffee pot, but they’re actually not doing anything. They’re not contributing. Right. So both of those are massively on the rise. So if, unless we start to address people’s whole being, those problems are just going to get worse and worse and worse, and mental illnesses are just going to get worse and worse and worse. So all of that is the reason why corporations have to deal with it. And how, why is repatterning or things, tools such as repatterning is showing up in the world today?

Jenn DeWall:

I, you know, I love that there are a lot of organizations that have obviously like I’m more and more of a vested and more connected interest in supporting mental health. But what would you say to the organizations that may still be separate, right? It’s like the separation of church and state, except for the separation of your life outside of this and how you respond to that and what you do here. What would you say to those organizations? What would be a piece of advice that you would maybe share to those that still kind of believe like that’s not where we give you a paycheck? Isn’t that good enough? Why should we have to step in and support your mental health, Adele? Come on. What would you, what would be some advice that you would share maybe considerations like that they maybe haven’t thought about before?

Shifting Patterns to Build Resilience

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah, so the biggest buzzword in the corporate world today is resilience, right?

Jenn DeWall:

Yep! It sure is!

Adele Spraggon:

What is resilience? It’s the ability to bounce back from adversity. It’s the ability to take a challenge and deal with it and bounce back from it and create those creative solutions that are needed. Deal with the emotional upset that comes with those stressors. As I said, the world today is speeding up, and those stress factors are pushing down into the corporate world. So it’s not that the corporation itself has to change. It’s that those external stressors now are going to force the corporation to have to change. It has to take care of its employees, or else they’re not going to survive. That’s going to be true. Absenteeism is just the first of the problems that bottom line will start to be affected more and more and more as people lose focus, as people are struggling with worries at home, lack of sleep, all of that stuff is going to start affecting the entire team.

Jenn DeWall:

It’s not even necessarily a choice anymore. If you want to, you know, preserve that productivity. It understands that there’s a force that’s happening beyond that corporation’s control. That’s already going to push it, and you can just choose whether to deal with it or not. And you’re going to see the positive and negative consequences that come from that.

Adele Spraggon:

Yeah. Yeah. And, and because there are some fantastic tools out there today, mine just being one of them. Why not? Why not be a front runner and deal with it and attract those good people, those skills that you need because people today are not just looking for a corporation to give them a paycheck. They’re looking for a place to call home. And so why not be a front runner and say, Hey, yes, I’ll, I’ll take care of you. You take care of us. I, and to me, that just makes total sense.

Jenn DeWall:

Yeah, no, it absolutely does. When I think about when I initially started out as a coach, people would be like, I’m looking for a career coach. And those ambitious people are like; I’m looking for that career coach that’s going to help me elevate my performance and the piece I’m like, I’ve always said, I call myself a career life coach because you don’t get to put them into a vacuum and manage them accordingly. Like that, that is just not the way that we are designed. That’s not how our brain is going to think because I can’t shut off my emotions at nine and be like, you know what? I know that my grandpa’s really sick, but it’s. I’m on the clock now. So I can’t care about that anymore. Or I’m really disturbed about this. Like, Hey, I’m at a meeting. I’m not going to think about it. Like, that’s just not happening. Oh my gosh. So how do you work? Like how, because I really, I believe in the work that you do and I think it’s so essential. So how are you working with some of the organizations? Like what are some of the work that you’re doing with their teams, with their leaders to support this? I just think it’s such important work.

Adele Spraggon:

Oh yeah. So what’s super exciting is I partnered up with a client of mine. She’s an amazing powerhouse. And she has a company called Heartbeat AI, in which she measures emotions within the corporation. So she comes in, she researches, she can actually measure the level of resilience and the level of stress. And she can predict what the issue is going to be in the future, based on that emotional pulse of the corporation. So her and I partnering together is amazing because she comes in, she can measure, she can show exactly where the problems are going to be, what needs to be targeted. I come in. I support the team members, only those who are willing. I don’t even have to work with the entire team. We can shift a team just by working with key people within that team. So shift their patterns, which shifts the resilience within that team. Then she comes back in and measures, and we guarantee our results because we can see them right there in the surveys and what she does. It shows the real results week over week, over week. And you just watch the resilience go up, and the stress comes down.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my gosh. I would love to go back to so many organizations that I’ve worked for and be like, well, you check the pulse of this. Because I would just be curious to kind of see what the observations the findings are and then just say, yeah, all of those problems actually did happen. I mean, what if, you know, what if organizations actually had a rating system of like, this is your organizational policy, it’s a B, or you’re feeling it, or you’re, you know, it’s an, E for excellence. Like, is there a way that you could actually go out and say, here’s all of our data that we’ve collected? And if you’re doing these things, like you’re at an F, and here are the things that have you don’t address them. This is only going to have an impact on your decisions, your profits, your turnover, what else comes down the line.

But I think it’d be so helpful for organizations to have that because right now I think the grading system that they have are, you know, employee survey results, which, who knows if the employees even do them, if they did them on a good day or bad day. Or you have people that went to your glass door and are like, I love this company, or I don’t love that company, but I like that you’re coming up with a real tool to assess, like, this is really what’s going on. And it’s not necessarily from maybe the people that you always want to hear from. So it might be more biased; it’s from a different level. I just think that’s so important. And I wish more organizations could actually be if you think about what that would do, if I knew as an employee that an organization had an A-rating for a, you know, its pulse for its culture, how it treats people, I want to work for those cultures, how I don’t want to work for the ones that are the F, or they don’t have and see me as an individual that has flaws that are still working through stuff but also has best intentions for what I can do for you.

Like, I just wish that you could almost take that data and make it public. So people could be like, how do I find those people? Cause I want to work at those companies. But I mean, most importantly too, I mean, at least the work that you’re doing is not only being able to identify it but then saying here is a roadmap for how you can change. Like you’re not stuck there. Going back to how we even opened the conversation is like, they’re like change is something that can always occur. If there is willingness, if there is, you know, I don’t want to butcher it in the way that we’ve talked about it from patterns, but we can always grow and change. We can always choose a new path. And so maybe it’s not the place for that organization, and blaming and shaming themselves, but it’s just saying what the new path you want to create for your team is?

Adele Spraggon:

The beautiful thing about resilience is it’s actually occurring on two different levels. There’s resilience within a team, which we can measure based on the level of optimism within that team. And we find we’re finding that the more optimistic a team is, the more resilience there is at the individual level and vice versa. If you can rebuild, if you can rebuild, sorry, if you can build the resilience within individual members of that team, that increases the resilience of the entire team overall. So, you know what you said? Not from a position of blame and shame. Absolutely. Because there are some members of teams who are– okay, can I just say it– they are not at the maturity level to own their own patterns to take on that level of responsibility.

Jenn DeWall:

Are you saying that there are a million people that are like, yes, I’ve worked with that person, thank you for saying that?

Adele Spraggon:

And so it’s unfair to say you have to because they can’t. All right. So, so we don’t have to, we can just work with a portion of that team and just work with 20% of those who are willing members of their team to own their patterns. It increases the entire resilience of the entire team because each supports the other, which is amazing,

How to Connect with Adele Spraggon

Jenn DeWall:

It creates a true ripple effect in terms of how they all interact. The work that you’re doing is so important. I’m so glad that you even took time out of your schedule to be able to talk and sit down with me for our listeners of The Leadership Habit. We talked about your book. I know that you’re working on more. So Adele’s book, Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment, Adele, how can people get in touch with you and how can they work with you? Where’s your, where would, where would they go to get in touch with you and learn more?

Adele Spraggon:

The best place is my website, AdeleSpraggon.com, they can get to, and if they want a free copy of my book, you can get it there, but you can also get it at Shift4Steps.com,  And that’s the number four. And I’m sure you’ll put all of this in the copy notes. Yeah. Yeah, so, and just, all I ask is that you pay for shipping, and I will send you a signed copy.

Jenn DeWall:

Oh my God, that is a fantastic offer. And again, I started reading this book. I’m about a quarter to halfway through, and I can tell you that you have said things that I actually have not been exposed to yet. And so I just really appreciate the way that you’ve shared this and written this, and most of all, I appreciate the work that you’re doing to help people truly maximize the type of life that they live. Adele, thank you so much for being on the show today. It was great.

Adele Spraggon:

No, thank you for having me, Jenn. It was a pleasure.

Jenn DeWall:

Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast. I hope you enjoyed my conversation without a doubt. Now, if you want to know more about a doubt, connect with her, get her free book. You can head on over to her website, adelespraggon.com. And if you know someone as you were listening, that could really benefit from hearing Adele’s message. Don’t forget to share this podcast episode with them, help them see their new possibilities or the potential outcomes vacancy as a result of reprogramming. And of course, if you enjoyed this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on your favorite podcast streaming service. Until next time.

 

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