Directionally Challenged

The Truth Behind a Mother’s Lies with Carmen Rita Wong

Oct 23, 2023

Journalist and author Carmen Rita Wong discusses her personal memoir, revealing the truth behind her complicated relationship with her parents. She reflects on the impact of her mother's mistakes on her own parenting and finding forgiveness. Wong shares her journey of discovering her biological father's lies and the challenges of navigating a new culture. She also explores the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and the healing power of writing.

34:18

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Episode guests

Carmen Rita Wong

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Discovering a big secret about her identity prompted Carmen Rita Wong to question her mother's choice to live a dishonest life.

Carmen emphasizes the importance of finding one's own identity separate from the expectations and narratives imposed by family.

Deep dives

Discovering a Big Secret

Carmen Rita Wong shares the story of discovering a big secret about her identity at the age of 31. Raised in a web of lies, Carmen's mother had the opportunity to tell her the truth before her passing, but instead, she told another fabricated story about Carmen's father. It was only through DNA testing that Carmen learned the truth. The experience prompted her to question why her mother had chosen to live such a dishonest life and explore the role that her family played in perpetuating the lie.

Introduction

3min

A Story of Discovering a Father's Lies

3min

Navigating a New Culture and Confronting Racism

7min

Navigating Mother-Daughter Relationships and Personalized Labels

4min

The Realization that Parents are Human and the Impact of Discovering a Sibling's Identity

4min

Healing Through Writing

18min

Kayla is joined by journalist, finance expert, and author Carmen Rita Wong to talk about her extremely personal memoir in which she unpacks the complicated relationship with her parents and own identity. It wasn’t until after her mother’s death that Carmen learned the truth of her biological father and to the extent in which her parents went to feed the lie. She reflects on how her mother’s mistakes impact her own intentional parenting and how to understand parents as the individual humans they are without forcing forgiveness.

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