Season 6 Episode 11: Breakups vs De-escalations

"The relationship they need to feel secure is not always the one you need to deescalate to the 'good parts' of your relationship with them."

"It can be really triggering to watch someone greive so outwardly about someone else and their relationship while you're still with them."

Leanne Yau of PolyPhiliaBlog guests on this week's episode to discuss her recent breakup and breakups in general, and when they end up being necessary over de-escalations, with Laura. We talk about breakups when you're 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon or less from your former partners by staying in community, how these can be even more difficult than leaving a relationship, that people sometimes stay in relationships to "prove the haters wrong," and more. The episode includes a section on

Related blog posts at the Ready for Polyamory Blog include:

https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breakups-in-polyamory
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy (on automatic promotion to primary)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-out (Grief ring theory dump in comfort out)

Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia, is a polyamory educator and sex-positive influencer on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Patreon, and YouTube. She creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity, and was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok'.

You can find her on all social media as @polyphiliablog; and her patreon and shop at http://patreon.com/polyphiliablog; http://polyphiliashop.Redbubble.com.

Special Guest: Leanne Yau.