How Reviling Wives Are Destroying the Church (And What To Do About It)
Mar 8, 2025
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Kevin Griffin, pastor of counseling at Refuge Church, dives into the complex issues surrounding women’s roles in the church. He critiques how feminism has led to unaddressed feminine sins, particularly in marriages with contentious wives. Griffin discusses the cultural phenomenon of 'white knighting' and offers practical advice for husbands and counselors dealing with difficult dynamics. He emphasizes the need for accountability and courageous leadership to foster healthier relationships and improve church communities.
The podcast discusses the impact of feminism on the church, particularly the lack of accountability for women's sinful behaviors.
Kevin Griffin highlights that men often unwittingly find themselves in conflict with reviling wives, creating emotional turmoil in their marriages.
The episode emphasizes the importance of support systems and communication for husbands dealing with difficult situations in their relationships.
Deep dives
The War at Home
Many men find themselves unknowingly engaged in a conflict with a reviling wife, similar to King David's lament in Psalm 120. These husbands do not seek confrontation but rather prefer peace, while their wives seem to thrive in discord. This situation often leads to the men feeling conscripted into an unforeseen war, unable to recognize the battleground that is their own marriage. The show emphasizes that it is vital for these men to awaken to their circumstances and learn how to effectively combat the emotional and relational turmoil they face.
The Lack of Resources for Male Struggles
The discussion points out the scarcity of resources addressing sinful behaviors primarily associated with women, particularly in the context of Biblical counseling. While there are numerous writings on male transgressions, literature targeting female sins is alarmingly limited. Pastor David Edgington's work, including his first book, 'The Abusive Wife,' stands out for addressing these issues, but many publishers were unwilling to take the risk of publishing it. This highlights a pervasive blind spot within the Christian counseling community concerning female accountability.
Understanding White Knighthood
White knighting involves men coming to the defense of women without recognizing their faults, often treating them as victims regardless of their behavior. This harmful tendency can result in the minimization of women’s accountability and exacerbate issues within marriages. An example is shared about political figures who prioritize protecting women while overlooking their responsibilities. The concept emphasizes the need to critique behavior without fear of societal repercussions, thereby fostering a healthier understanding of female accountability.
The Characteristics of a Reviling Wife
A reviling wife is characterized by a quest for control and a tendency to tear down her household through contentious behavior, blasphemous speech, and parental alienation. Scripturally, women are called to be submissive and supportive, but a reviling wife often violates these principles by fostering discord and resentment. This destructiveness is likened to Proverbs 14:1, which notes that a wise woman builds her house, while a foolish one brings it down. Recognizing these traits is imperative for both men and women to address marital issues effectively.
Encouragement and Support for Men
The episode underscores the necessity for men facing challenges with a reviling wife to seek support and cultivate courage in their marriages. This includes standing firm against unhealthy behaviors, fostering open communication, and pursuing peace despite conflict. Spiritual encouragement from scripture and engaging with trusted men, such as pastors or counselors, is vital for navigating these difficulties. A robust support system acts as a safeguard against the isolation that often accompanies such marital struggles and helps reinforce a man's resolve to lead his family rightly.
In this episode, we talk with Kevin Griffin, pastor of counseling at Refuge Church, about the problems feminism has created in the church, especially by allowing women’s sins to go unaddressed. In Proverbs, we have various warnings against brawling or contentious women, yet in the church today it is seldom you will see pastors address such women.
We’ll also talk about David Edgington’s forthcoming book from New Christendom Press, “White Knights and Reviling Wives.” Not only is the book helpful at diagnosing this problem, it also provides practical tools for dealing with reviling women. Finally, Kevin and Eric will talk about practical tips for husbands and counselors in dealing with difficult situations. Should you counsel them together or alone? How do you confront these sins?
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