The conversation highlights the journey of a successful writer, emphasizing the role of authenticity and consistency. They explore the complexities of writing, vulnerability, and audience engagement. The discussion dives into personal growth, the dynamics of relationships, and the impact of friendships on creativity. Listeners are treated to insights on navigating the balance between creative integrity and marketing. Finally, the speakers reflect on personal taste, social psychology, and the beauty of pursuing artistic passions, even when they're deemed 'useless'.
Ava emphasizes that good writing is characterized by clarity and attentiveness, allowing her to explore deeper emotional and psychological themes.
She discusses the transformative power of consistency and commitment in writing, highlighting how these practices create stability and flow in her creative process.
Ava reflects on the complexities of vulnerability in her writing, advocating for emotional honesty over a rigid standard of self-disclosure.
She illustrates the importance of friendship in personal growth, arguing that strong social connections provide essential support for pursuing passions and identity.
Deep dives
The Journey of a Writer
Ava discusses her evolution as a writer, emphasizing the importance of clarity and attentiveness in good writing. Over her four years on Substack, she has transitioned from writing about mindfulness to exploring broader themes like emotions, relationships, and psychology. This shift reflects her interests and her belief in the necessity of personal experience in her writing. Ava expresses that although she started with specific topics, her growth as a writer has led her to embrace a wider range of subjects that resonate more deeply with her audience.
Finding Flow in Commitment
Ava shares her experience of finding flow and stability through consistent writing and mindfulness practices. After grappling with feelings of fragmentation and distraction in her early twenties, she discovered that committing to writing has profoundly transformed her life. She believes that flow can be cultivated through repetition and dedication to chosen activities, leading to deeper engagement and satisfaction. Ava points out that maintaining consistent practices not only fosters flow but also creates a sense of identity and purpose.
The Art of Maintenance
Ava reflects on the challenges of maintaining creative pursuits amidst feelings of discouragement and stagnation. She recognizes that periods of low motivation are common in long-term projects, including her Substack and novel writing. By normalizing these feelings, she has learned to navigate the ups and downs of her creative journey. The act of maintenance, she asserts, is integral to sustaining both creativity and personal growth, allowing her to persevere even when the process feels Sisyphean.
The Complexity of Vulnerability
In her exploration of vulnerability, Ava discusses the nuanced nature of self-disclosure in her writing. She finds humor in the juxtaposition between her writing persona and her tendency to be more reserved in personal interactions. Though her writing often reveals intimate thoughts and emotions, she acknowledges that vulnerability is a complex and subjective concept. Ava emphasizes the importance of sincerity and emotional honesty rather than strict adherence to a certain standard of vulnerability in her creative work.
Authenticity versus Popularity
Ava contemplates the tension between authenticity and the performative aspects of sharing one's life online. She critiques the ideal of being authentic, asserting that it can often become a superficial label rather than a genuine reflection of identity. The conversation leads to her belief that the impact of one’s creative expressions often stems from a sense of honesty and personal resonance, regardless of their popularity. This challenges the conventional notions of success and encourages a deeper engagement with one's true self.
The Role of Taste in Creativity
Ava elaborates on the development of taste and its connection to personal growth and self-knowledge. She believes that taste is not instinctively innate but is cultivated through extensive exploration and consumption of various art forms. This insight illustrates how one’s tastes reflect their inner life and how understanding oneself can enhance artistic expression. Ava encourages embracing personal preferences and experiences rather than succumbing to societal expectations about what is deemed 'good' or 'bad' taste.
The Power of Friendships
Ava underscores the significance of friendship in shaping identity and providing emotional support. She advocates for investing time and effort in friendships and prioritizing them alongside romantic relationships. Drawing from her experiences in San Francisco, she highlights the rich diversity of her social circle, noting how those relationships inspire and motivate her. Ava believes that the support system provided by friends allows individuals to explore their passions more fully and openly.
Ava (X) is one of my favorite writers. She writes full-time for her Substack, Bookbear Express, and focuses on love, friendship, emotions, culture, and psychology.
I'm not sure there's anyone I've more consistently recommended to friends and loved ones in recent years, and it seems like the world agrees: Ava now has over 30,000 subscribers. One of my favorite parts of this episode was reading excerpts from Ava's essays over the years back to her. We cover a ton of ground, including writing, consistency, commitment, friendship, authenticity, self-respect, taste, beauty, and much more.
Timestamps:
(1:09): What makes for good writing & what Ava writes about
(5:49): Flow, Writing Practice, Consistency, Commitment, and Maintenance
(14:08): Audience Consideration, Vulnerability, Sincerity, and Ava's Readership
(26:30): Feedback Loops, Getting Better at Writing
(28:51): Distribution and Growth; Writing Online vs. Making a Living with Writing
(34:39): Social Psychology and Seeing People More Clearly
(36:21): Do People Change?
(42:44): Relationships & Helping Others Find Love
(44:32): The Friendship Theory of Everything
(1:00:35): Consistency, Self-Respect, and Self-Trust
(1:03:45): Frames: Consistency in Our Relationships with Others
(1:08:21): Authenticity and Honesty
(1:15:12): Taste & Interiority
(1:24:14): Two Core Interests: Relationships and Technology
