17510 - Pass the gatekeeper, or regret it

Days Left On Earth: 17510 

Franz Kafka was one of the 20th century’s great novelists. His short story ‘Before the law’ gave me so much courage that I wanted to share it with you.

For this episode, I will read this short story and then look at the reflection I wrote in my journal.

What does Kafka's parable mean to me?

The man wants to be handed the law on a plate. He is posturing to be let in but, deep down, does not have the spirit to make a move. To risk failure and open himself to bigger, meaner gatekeepers.  

So he sits and waits - hoping for someone or something to gift him entry. 

All his attention is focused on the first challenge, and he can longer see the wood for the trees. 

He waits.

When in truth - these obstacles in life are meant just for us. No one else. 

No one invites us in. There is never a perfect moment,

They are our gatekeepers. 

And we must take action even when it scares us, or we will never know what's on the other side.

My big gatekeeper was alcohol.

For years I waited outside waiting to be welcomed in. 

I even wished a soft-rock bottom that did not hurt too much would force me past the gatekeeper.

Back then, I did not have the courage to take action.

Then after years of waiting, unlike the man, I forced my way past the gatekeeper and found my courage on the other side.

Once inside, I found another bigger, scarier gatekeeper.

I wanted to leave the broking world, but everyone thought it impossible. No one gets past the gatekeeper with the golden handcuffs.

Until I did.

The great insight is that your challenges are unique to you, but in taking action in the face of fear, you grow stronger and more resilient. 

Which builds the momentum to get past the next gatekeeper.

One last thing.

The gatekeepers are never-ending.

Or, as Ryan Holiday says, “behind the mountains are more mountains.’

Happiness is found trying to climb them.