212. Is God Disappointed in Me? — A Conversation with Kurt Francom
Apr 20, 2024
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Author Kurt Francom discusses the concept of a disappointed God and its effects on shame and growth. He emphasizes sin as a response to inner wounds and the importance of vulnerability in healing. The conversation highlights God's unconditional love and acceptance, promoting grace and redemption. Other topics include addressing childhood wounds, authenticity in Mormon culture, self-discovery, personal worth, and the transformative Campfire Prayer practice.
Understanding the difference between shame and guilt is crucial for personal growth and healing.
True change stems from a transformed heart and embracing the redemptive power of love and acceptance.
Engaging in a campfire prayer practice can foster a deeper connection with God and bring healing.
Recognizing the transformative power of grace and self-acceptance leads to positive changes and growth in faith.
Deep dives
Understanding the Concept of a Disappointed God
The podcast delves into the cultural perception among Latter-day Saints of a perpetually disappointed God rather than an angry or vengeful one. The guest, Kurt Frankham, discusses his book 'Is God Disappointed in Me?' in which he unpacks the idea of a disappointed God and its impact on personal growth and understanding of sin.
Exploring the Relationship Between Wounding and Shame
Kurt Frankham explores the connection between personal wounds and how they often lead to shame. He emphasizes that sin is often a response to hidden wounds and core vulnerabilities, with shame being a potent tool used to attack one's identity. Understanding these wounds is crucial for healing and moving away from shame-based behaviors.
Differentiating Between Shame and Guilt
The podcast discusses the distinction between shame and guilt, highlighting that shame goes beyond feeling bad about an action to believing one is inherently bad and even enjoying the wrongdoing. Kurt Frankham emphasizes the power of grace and self-acceptance in overcoming shame.
Importance of Heart Change in Behavior Transformation
The conversation delves into the significance of heart transformation leading to changes in behavior. Instead of focusing solely on following commandments and trying to modify behavior first, the speaker emphasizes that true change comes from a transformed heart, aligning with the redemptive power of love and acceptance.
Embracing Grace and Self-Acceptance
The podcast highlights the transformative power of grace and self-acceptance in personal growth. By recognizing the unconditional acceptance and love of God, individuals can move away from shame, embrace their vulnerabilities, and find motivation for positive change through a relationship based on love and acceptance.
Campfire Prayer Practice for Healing and Acceptance
Kurt Frankham shares a powerful practice of engaging in a campfire prayer where one sits in the presence of the Savior without the need to thank or ask for blessings. This meditative experience of simply being in the presence of love and acceptance can bring healing and strength, fostering a deeper connection with God.
Concluding Message of Relationship and Listening in Prayer
The podcast concludes with a profound anecdote from Mother Teresa, illustrating the simplicity and depth of a true relationship with God. Through listening in prayer and recognizing the reciprocal nature of divine interaction, the message emphasizes the beauty of a genuine relationship focused on mutual understanding and love.
Encouragement to Explore Personal Wounds and Relationship with God
The episode encourages listeners to explore their personal wounds, understand the impact of shame, and consider adopting practices like the campfire prayer for healing and acceptance. Emphasizing the importance of a real and deep relationship with God, the conversation invites reflection on personal growth and self-acceptance in faith.
This week, we’re bringing you an interview with Kurt Francom, author of a new book titled, Is God Disappointed in Me? Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace. It seems to us that culturally, Latter-day Saints don’t usually imagine an angry vengeful God but we may very well imagine a god who is perpetually disappointed with us when we inevitably fail again to live up to our highest ideals. Kurt’s book unpacks what hurts about the idea of a disappointed God and why this belief can be a real stumbling block to our growth. He explores the ways sin is very often a response to woundedness and how understanding these core vulnerabilities can help us to heal from shame instead of hiding or numbing.
We've linked to a sweet video Kurt posted of his daughter learning to walk; though she is fumbling and struggling to learn, the video reminds us that as parents, we're not disappointed by this process of growth. Instead, like Kurt's voice in this little video, he was bursting with pride at her growth, joy when she got back up, and excitement that he got to be with her in the journey of learning to walk. Is this what we imagine God -a loving heavenly father and mother feels, when we make mistakes?
We think these ideas are so transformative. You can find Kurt’s book on Amazon or Benchmark Books. We also invite you to check out Kurt’s “Learning to walk” video with his daughter, which we’ll link to in the show notes. We hope you enjoy this episode.
