564. Melanie Espeland, Executive Presence Presentation

Show Notes:

Melanie Espeland, a TEDx speaker and executive coach with 17 years of experience in strategy, operations, and coaching, she’s former McKinsey, and in this episode, she discusses the importance of executive presence and how to achieve it.

Communication in Executive Presence

In this workshop, Melanie explains that executive presence is important because it provides access to insider discussions, meetings, events, and happy hours. Access is crucial for success, and influence is essential for those with a purpose or vision. Executive presence allows for a balance and integration of power, authority, respect, trust, warmth, and likability.

Melanie also discusses the concept of compassionate authority, which she sees as a combination of power, authority, respect, trust, warmth, and comfort with the people you are speaking with. This external communication and ability to share thoughts and feelings are key to achieving executive presence. By understanding the value of executive presence and its impact on success, individuals can better navigate their roles and achieve their goals. Melanie explains that executive presence is a complex concept that varies across different personalities and people. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for expressing presence, as there are different ways of expressing it. Steve Jobs and Michelle Obama are examples of individuals with different styles, each with their own unique qualities. However, there are common threads or levers in executive presence that can help individuals build their personal and professional style that aligns with their strengths and personality.

Building Executive Presence

A structured approach to building executive presence consists of two pillars: the literal (physical, tangible) and the figurative (mental, emotional). Under each pillar, there are three common threads or levers: voice, body, and appearance. Voice refers to the speaker's voice, verbal communication, body language, posture, and physical presence. Body language, posture, and physical presence are also crucial. Application is the first impression, and it is important to consider how our appearance may impact our professional image and relationships. By understanding these common threads and levers, individuals can develop a unique and authentic executive presence style that aligns with their strengths and personality. The figurative pillar of executive presence is relevant for mid to senior level professionals as they move up the ladder. Authenticity, confidence, and vision are important for connecting with others and understanding one's strengths, weaknesses, wants, intentions, and motivations. Authenticity is crucial for connecting with others and making them feel comfortable. Confidence is different, as it involves feeling confident in oneself and being clear on one's goals. Vision is crucial for building an executive presence, especially as you get more senior.

Effective Communication for a Large Audience

To communicate effectively in large audiences, it is essential to understand media skills, such as how to talk to the media and communicate ideas consistently and coherently. As you become more senior, you will be thrown into meetings and need to control what people leave with. These six common threads or levers of executive presence can be divided into two pillars. By measuring up in these areas, you can identify areas where you have more opportunity. Exercises can be done together to practice these skills at home, starting with voice and body exercises. By focusing on these areas, you can develop new skills and improve your executive presence.

How to Improve Verbal Communication 

Melanie discusses the importance of voice and body verbal and nonverbal communication in executive presence. One technique that often surprises people is tongue placement exercises. She believes that the body is an instrument that needs to be controlled, rather than controlled by it. They encourage participants to try these exercises at home and see if they stick better after practicing with them. Tongue placement exercises help improve diction, projection, and warmth in speech. For example, in American English, the tongue tends to be in the middle, which can lead to a more accurate and clear voice. This is particularly beneficial for those who may be uncomfortable with their accent or question their pronunciation. Projection is the distance sound travels from the mouth, which is different from volume. This helps give the voice gravitas and resonance, giving it authority and warmth. Melanie provides various exercises that can improve diction.

In conclusion, voice and body exercises are essential for improving verbal and nonverbal communication. By practicing tongue placement exercises, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their voice and body, ultimately leading to improved communication and overall performance.

Breathwork for Executive Presence

Breathing is crucial for a great voice and overall executive presence. Proper breathing is essential for delivering sound effectively and enhancing one's overall appearance. To achieve this, it is essential to focus on two aspects: maintaining proper breathing and mouth position during speaking. Filler words, which can be annoying or insincere, can be a common issue. To avoid these, it is essential to have more air coming in and out of the body, allowing for more air to be absorbed and not gasping for air. Melanie explains breathing exercises that help individuals can develop a better understanding of their breathing and voice, ultimately improving their overall communication and overall presence. She emphasizes the importance of proper breathing in order to maintain powerful, engaged, and present speech. T

The speaker encourages practicing this exercise at home, aiming to breathe in through the nose on 123 counts. If the exhale is short or uncomfortable, it may indicate that the speaker needs to work on their breathing technique. This can be likened to going to the gym to train your body..

Understanding the Confidence Flywheel

To gain more confidence, it is essential to have a sense of ease within oneself. People who have presence tend to appear grounded and confident, having clarity and ease about their actions. To achieve this, one can trick their physicality into ease, which affects their mental and emotional state. Techniques like breathing techniques can help reduce cortisol, heartbeat, and adrenaline, making the body think they are at ease. This change in mental and emotional state leads to increased confidence. The confidence flywheel can be used to showcase confidence, which in turn uplifts the confidence of the audience. The more confidence the audience has in you, the more confident your audience will be in you. However, the flywheel can also go in the opposite direction, making you appear nervous or unsure, which can lead to subconscious feedback and doubt.

Tricking the Body into Confidence

Melanie discusses the concept of tricking your body into confidence and using code words to trick your brain into bringing up past feelings or emotions in the present tense. This exercise involves thinking about a specific experience where you felt grounded or at ease, and thinking about your life as if it were a movie with a screenshot of that moment. The exercise involves walking through all five senses, including sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. Write down this information and create a code word cheat sheet for future reference. Once the memory is created, name it or give it a name, such as "Thailand." When applying the exercise in real time, remember the code word and the feeling of being at ease. The more specific the code word, the more powerful it will be. It's important to have nuanced language in your speech to avoid overtaking the activity or presentation. Try using different code words or memories for the same feelings, and record yourself on Zoom or with a partner or friend to see how it works.

An additional tool for using code words leading into confidence is using physical objects that remind you of the code word. For example, a cool stone on the beach can be placed on your desk, in your hand, or in your pocket before a big presentation. Pictures can also be helpful in remembering a day.

Pacing for Public Speaking

Melanie discusses the importance of pacing in speaking, particularly when someone is nervous. This can be achieved by having water next to you, as it is an elegant way to pause and recalibrate yourself. Breathing exercises can help slow down speech speed, as people often use filler words or keep talking quickly. Breathing exercises can also help slow down speech by taking deep breaths while taking a sip of water. To slow down, she encourages reading slowly and even more slowly than usual. This allows the body and mind to connect and understand that they can speak more slowly. Recording yourself reading at different speeds and practicing at different times can help determine the best pacing for your speech. Lastly, Melanie suggests verbally numbering points to help your audience follow along. For example, if you have three points to make, you can use data to make it easier for your audience to understand what you're trying to say. This helps give your audience a structure to follow along.

Melanie moves on to share certain techniques to communicate  well with others, including how to politely interrupt, how to indicate engagement, dealing with verbal fillers, and how to encourage conversation. This is followed by a Q&A session. 

Timestamps:

01:23 Executive presence and communication skills

04:43 Executive presence and its components

10:24 Building executive presence through voice and body exercises

16:16 Improving English pronunciation with tongue placement

18:41 Tongue placement for clear speech

24:39 Proper breathing techniques for clear communication

30:06 Proper breathing techniques for clear communication

35:03 Voice and body exercises for executive presence and confidence

37:43 Using ease and code words to boost confidence

43:07 Using code words to enhance memory and relaxation

47:09 Using physical objects for memory recall

49:43 Speeding up speech and managing pace

Links:

Website: https://www.melaniesespeland.com/

Website: https://espelandenterprises.com/

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