

Searching for Safety After Abuse
May 28, 2025
Attorney Melissa Hogan, a survivor of betrayal and abuse, shares her transformative journey. She discusses the emotional fallout from her husband's infidelity and the hypocrisy of support systems that choose sides. Melissa emphasizes the importance of finding safe spaces for healing and navigating the complexities of trust post-trauma. Her heartfelt exploration includes the grief of losing her son while escaping an abusive relationship, highlighting the strength in vulnerability and the necessity of supportive communities in the journey toward safety.
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Escape to Safety Alone
- Melissa Hogan fled at 2:20 a.m. to a foreign country alone to seek safety from her abusive marriage.
- She emailed survivor advocates asking if her fears were justified and struggled with losing trusted friends.
Subjectivity of Safety
- A 'safe person' is subjective and may only be safe in certain ways for specific individuals.
- Survivors often shrink their world to a trusted inner circle as a protective mechanism like a cocoon.
Cocoon Metaphor for Healing
- Survivors cocoon themselves for protection and transformation, but cocoons can create a black-and-white safe/unsafe mindset.
- This cocoon shields pain but can also isolate and distort trust in others.