#367 Sexual Confidence and the Best Sex Positions from the Internet's Resident Sexpert - with Dr. Tara
Feb 6, 2024
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Dr. Tara, a pioneering expert in sexual and relational communication, discusses sexual confidence, body neutrality, and discovering your inner sexy beast. She also shares her top tips for sex positions. The podcast covers topics such as self-pleasure, sexual repression, self-discovery, cultural differences, societal beauty standards, and the best sex positions for different body types.
Embracing body neutrality can help shift the focus from appearance to functionality, promoting self-acceptance and appreciation.
Acceptance from family regarding one's work and passions is an ongoing process, especially when it challenges conservative beliefs about sex.
True empowerment and personal fulfillment come from embracing one's unique identity and desires, rather than conforming to societal expectations.
Deep dives
Dr. Tara's Journey to Becoming a Sex Expert
Dr. Tara, an immigrant from Thailand, grew up in a conservative family and a culture that repressed sexuality. However, her natural curiosity and inclination towards exploration led her to question societal norms. She pursued a career in relational communication and became a tenured professor. After going through a difficult divorce, she embarked on a personal journey of self-discovery, self-love, and empowerment. Her students encouraged her to start a social media presence, where she became known as the Internet's resident sex expert. Dr. Tara's family initially had mixed feelings about her work, but over time, they have become more accepting of her passion and her mission to promote shame-free conversations about sex and relationships.
The Concept of Body Neutrality
Dr. Tara introduces the concept of body neutrality, which emphasizes appreciating and loving the functionality of our bodies rather than solely focusing on physical beauty. Body neutrality means acknowledging and valuing our bodies for all they can do, without the pressure to always uphold societal beauty standards. It is about finding appreciation for the ways our bodies serve us and recognizing their capabilities, rather than constantly striving for external validation based on appearance.
Challenges and Acceptance from Family
Dr. Tara shares that her journey towards embracing her role as a sex expert has not always been easy for her family. Her father had reservations about her social media presence and preferred her to pursue a traditional academic path. While her mother has been very supportive, she is still cautious about sharing Dr. Tara's work with her friends due to the conservative mindset within their community. Dr. Tara acknowledges that acceptance from family is an ongoing process, and she respects their journey as they learn to embrace her passion and the importance of destigmatizing conversations about sex.
The Power of Embracing Individuality
Dr. Tara discusses the importance of embracing and celebrating individuality. She encourages people to move away from conforming to societal expectations and norms, and instead, explore and embrace their unique identities and desires. Dr. Tara believes that true empowerment and personal fulfillment come from being true to oneself, even when it may challenge traditional beliefs and norms.
Main Point 1: Four Variables Predict Long-Term Sexual Satisfaction
Based on a study involving over 5,000 people in long-term relationships, four significant variables that predict long-term sexual satisfaction were identified. These variables are: sexual communication, sexual self-esteem, sexual confidence, and sexual mindfulness.
Main Point 2: Importance of Sexual Mindfulness and Communication
Sexual mindfulness, which involves being present and fully engaged during sexual activity, was found to be a crucial predictor of long-term sexual satisfaction. It allows individuals to absorb and enjoy pleasure, leading to more fulfilling sexual experiences. Additionally, effective sexual communication, both through macro communication (discussing sexual preferences and expectations) and micro communication (communicating during sexual activity), was shown to positively impact sexual satisfaction.
Why is sexual confidence so important in great sex and relationships? How can I gain more sexual confidence? What is body neutrality and how is it different from “loving yourself”? What if I don’t think I’m hot or sexy? How can I discover my inner sexy beast? The internet's resident sexpert Dr. Tara answers all this, and to add a little more spice to the subject we also pick her brain about her top tips for sex positions.
About our guest: Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, a pioneering expert in sexual and relational communication, is a tenured professor at California State University Fullerton. Her groundbreaking research, showcased in her textbook "Sexual Communication: Research in Action," has earned her awards and recognition. She is also a co-host and sexpert on the UK’s popular TV show “Celebs Go Dating.”
As a sex and relationship coach, Dr. Tara hosts the acclaimed "Luvbites by Dr. Tara" Podcast, focusing on sexual wellness and exploration. Her influence spans various media outlets, including features in KTLA News, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and her own column ‘Sexplore with Dr. Tara’ in Women’s Health Magazine UK.
A TEDx Speaker, she presented "Become Sexually Powerful," drawing from her extensive study on sexual satisfaction and her personal journey from anxious immigrant to confident Sexpert. Dr. Tara's mission is to normalize sex talks, guiding people toward passionate and fulfilling lives through confidence and communication coaching. With a massive social media following, she's one of the most influential sex and relationship experts online.
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