Kerre Woodham: They're right when they say a week is a long time in politics

Crikey, a week is a long time in politics, especially with an election looming! Thomas Coghlan from the New Zealand Herald wrote this last week, “It's been a scratchy week in parliament.” He was talking about last week with MP's embarrassing themselves at every opportunity. Well, this week they've done it again. We've got National MP Tim van de Molen being stripped of all his portfolios after being a total oik and making a tit of himself in a Select Committee.

He was accused of threatening behaviour and while it's not threatening behaviour on a Mallardian scale, or the handbags at dawn in Parliament with Tau Henare and Trevor Mallard again, that sort of testosterone engorged behaviour is totally unacceptable, and Christopher Luxon was quite right to strip him of his portfolios until van de Molen has learned to calm the farm and learns how to behave like a professional.    

Still, with National … what the Dickens are they doing sticking with the fees free first year policy?

It was a policy they roundly mocked in 2017. Simon Bridges, the then leader, called it an expensive failure. Subsequent leader Judith Collins said they wouldn't have the fees free farce that cost taxpayers $300 million, yet saw fewer people actually doing tertiary education.

And yet now with an election looming we have Nicola Willis, who sees it as an important support for students and families. No, it's not. No Nicola, no. The numbers show it's a costly failure, like so many of Labour's policies.

If they must stick with it, if they must try and get students on side, make it fees free for the third year so that people actually have the motivation to get the degree, not drop out halfway as they do costing taxpayers and costing the young people. This is a nonsense. And it's a big thumbs down.  

Thumbs up though for ruling out granting government contracts to gangs. By all means, give contracts to community groups that something Christopher Luxon has said he's very big on. He wants ground up community support and he's happy to fund that. That's something Labour does as well, but Christopher Luxon says that actually works. He can see the value of it.

By all means give contracts to community groups and former gang members. Not to those who are still actively working with gang members. So thumbs up there, good job.  

Tthumbs down to Jan Tinetti. Yesterday, she sent out a press release trumpeting the free lunches and schools program as improving in attendance. It's not. She gave no figures. Treasury has done the report and looked at the data. In her press release yesterday she said teachers are reporting better attendance. Self reporting is not analysis of data. I can show her texts from teachers that say it's a waste of money in their school.

Treasury did an actual report looking at actual data, not self-reporting from some teachers, either Jane's teachers or mine, and said that the program is not reaching the kids it should. So no Jan, free school lunches are another Labour costly failure.

I'm not against free lunches and schools, I just want a program that works. Call me old-fashioned. I'd just like to see a return on investment, not blindly operating ideology and faith and self-reporting from some teachers.    

And finally, to round up the week, what on Earth is David Seymour smoking?

At the Moutere Hills Community Centre on Thursday, the ACT leader was reported as saying,  every country that has ever tried to do what this government has tried to do regarding co-governance has either ended in disaster or successfully campaigned to reintroduce liberal democracy. So far, so valid. You know, it's a point of view. And based on looking at history and. I think he's well qualified and well capable of saying that.

Then he goes on and says, I dare say if Nelson Mandela was alive today, he'd be campaigning for Act. Would he, David really?

I know it was a live speech and I don't want to be held accountable for everything I say when you're talking live as well. I mean, when you're doing a live audience. Sometimes you just sort of carried away with the with the crowd, and you sort of get a bit hyperbolic on it.

But come on, he's the Act leader with a real chance of getting into government. Even if it’s a joke, it really doesn't read well. Did you earn nothing from Meghan Markle? Do we really think that Nelson Mandela would have the yellow rosette on going door to door in Epsom? Unlikely!  

Seriously, as Thomas Coughlin said last week … “Weeks away from the last sitting day in the Parliament's dissolution, there could be no surer sign that politicians are ready to get out of the building and on to the hustings and day upon day of grumpy, unforced errors from some of our MP's.”

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