This Is Actually Happening 380: What if you had a spontaneous awakening?
Oct 21, 2025
A woman's journey through the tumultuous world of Rajneeshpuram reveals profound themes of abandonment and addiction. She recounts the chaotic blend of joy and discomfort as she navigates childhood and communes. A dramatic shift occurs with pregnancy, leading to sobriety and a career rebuild. Her spontaneous awakening during meditation unlocks deep self-love and clarity. Reflecting on her past and her mother's choices fosters compassion, while she critiques the commercialization of enlightenment, emphasizing personal truth.
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Childhood Between Two Worlds
- She describes being moved between parents, living in communes, and feeling both ecstatic freedom and deep abandonment as a child.
- Those early experiences set a lifelong pattern of seeking belonging and approval.
First Impressions Of Rajneeshpuram
- She recalls arriving at Rajneeshpuram as a child and feeling awe at the community transformation and rituals.
- She also noticed early sexual openness and separation between parents and children that made her uncomfortable.
Love, Luxury, And The First Heroin Use
- At 17 she fell for an older, wealthy sannyasin who introduced her to heroin and lavish gifts.
- Heroin erased her pain immediately and began a years-long addiction despite the glamorous context.
