Secrets to Attracting Private Money for Real Estate Deals Without Begging or Chasing

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@leads2deals           

“How to Raise Millions Without Banks | Real Estate Secrets with Jay Conner”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UAComwwh3Q&t=2s   

If you’re a real estate investor—whether seasoned or just starting—you’ve probably asked yourself the age-old question: “How do I fund my deals quickly and reliably, without the headaches of traditional bank financing?” 

On a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, Jay Conner, renowned for his expertise in raising private money, pulled back the curtain on his strategies for funding real estate investments. The conversation with Scott Morse of the Leads to Deals podcast was packed with practical tips, insightful stories, and a dose of inspiration for anyone struggling to access reliable capital.

The Turning Point: From Banks to Private Money

The journey for Jay Conner began like many others—relying solely on local banks to fund deals. For six years, things seemed manageable until a single phone call changed everything. His trusted banker, in the wake of the 2009 global financial crisis, abruptly cut off his line of credit. As Jay Conner recounts, “I said, Steve, what in the world are you saying to me? My line of credit’s closed? I got an 800 credit score… Why are you closing my line of credit?” This sudden problem became a doorway to a much bigger opportunity.

Jay Conner’s solution wasn’t just to think harder, but to ask a new question: “Who do you know that can help fix your problem?” This led to discovering private money—funds invested by ordinary individuals, often from retirement accounts, eager for higher returns and the security of asset-backed lending.

Principle #1: The Money Comes First

One of the podcast’s resounding themes is that reliable funding should precede the hunt for deals. As Jay Conner cautions, the old advice that “money finds good deals” is a myth—don’t wait until you have a property under contract before scrambling for funds. Instead, build your network of private lenders first. This shift puts investors in a position of strength, allowing for faster offers and greater negotiating power.

How to Attract, Not Chase, Private Money

What sets Jay Conner’s approach apart is his emphasis on education over salesmanship. “No begging, no chasing, no selling, no persuading,” says Jay Conner. He advocates for a mindset rooted in service and education. His method? Put on your “teacher hat” and inform your network about how private lending works, the returns they could earn, and the security features (like deeds of trust and insurance policy coverage) that protect their investment.

He illustrates this with the story of his first private lender: Instead of pitching a deal, he simply asked a church acquaintance, “Would you refer people to me who are unsatisfied with their bank returns or stock market volatility?” This gentle, indirect approach led the individual to volunteer, “What you got going on there, Jay?” and ultimately commit $500,000.

The Math Behind Every Deal

Jay Conner’s formula is straightforward: Never borrow more than 75% of the after-repaired value (ARV) of a property. This ensures safety for the lender and allows the investor to take home a sizable check at closing—without dipping into personal funds. “If you’re buying a house and it needs renovation and you’re using private money, if you can’t bring home a big check when you buy, you’re paying too much for the property,” Jay Conner insists.

Building Your Private Lender Network

Start with people you already know: church members, colleagues, neighbors, and anyone who may have retirement accounts they’d consider repositioning.