The Decibel The case for teaching your child it’s okay not to share
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Apr 8, 2025 Amberly McAteer, a contributing parenting columnist for The Globe and Mail, shares her insights on teaching children about sharing and personal boundaries. She emphasizes the importance of allowing kids to say 'no' and stand up for themselves, fostering empowerment and self-assurance. The conversation explores the balance between generosity and ownership, the complexities of sharing in childhood, and the emotional challenges parents face amid societal expectations. McAteer advocates for gentle parenting principles that validate children's feelings while encouraging healthier social interactions.
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The Marbles Incident
- Amberly McAteer's daughter received marbles after a dentist visit, which became a source of conflict between her daughters.
- McAteer questioned why she should force her daughter to share and considered respecting her daughter's agency.
Empowering "Mine"
- Allowing children to say "mine" empowers them and fosters confidence.
- It teaches them to assert their needs and desires, which is crucial for their development.
Normalizing Assertive Language
- Teach and normalize phrases like "This is mine" or "I'm not done yet" for children.
- Don't perceive this language negatively; instead, view it as a healthy expression of boundaries.