[Ep. 172] The Art Of Being Disliked w/ Amanda Palmer
Nov 12, 2023
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Amanda Palmer, an artistic and internet culture figure, discusses the art of being disliked and navigating online relationships. They explore the fear of rejection and the importance of mindfulness in dealing with criticism. They also touch on parenting during the pandemic and the choice to be an independent artist. Valuing oneself and accepting help, as well as embodying personal integrity, are highlighted.
Accepting help from unexpected sources can be crucial and rewarding, even if it doesn't come from the expected people or places.
Embracing the art of being disliked allows for authentic self-expression and the freedom to live a genuine life, despite facing criticism or rejection.
Deep dives
The Importance of Accepting Help from Unexpected Sources
In this podcast episode, Amanda Palmer discusses the importance of accepting help from unexpected sources. She learned that when help shows up, it's crucial not to be angry or disappointed that it isn't coming from the people or places we expected. By being open to receiving support from various corners of the community, we can let go of our preconceived notions and embrace the help that is offered to us. Palmer shares personal experiences of people stepping up to support her during challenging times, even when it came from unexpected places, and emphasizes the need to appreciate and accept assistance when it arrives.
The Art of Being Disliked and Embracing Authenticity
Amanda Palmer explores the concept of the art of being disliked in this podcast episode. She discusses the fear many people have of being disliked and how it prevents them from putting themselves out there. Palmer shares her own journey of embracing the art of being disliked and the freedom that comes with it. She highlights the importance of being true to oneself, even if it means facing criticism or rejection. By authentically expressing oneself and accepting that not everyone will like or approve of us, we can live more fulfilling and genuine lives.
The Practice of Non-Reactivity and Slowing Down
A significant part of the podcast episode focuses on the practice of non-reactivity and slowing down. Palmer shares how she has learned to pause, observe herself, and resist immediately reacting to challenging situations. She emphasizes the importance of taking a moment to sit with our emotions and not rushing to fix or address every issue that arises. Through her mindfulness practice, Palmer has honed the ability to detach from ego-driven reactions and approach situations with a more grounded and thoughtful mindset. This practice allows her to navigate difficulties and make wiser decisions.
Learning to Embrace a New Path and Prioritize Self-Care
The podcast episode also delves into the experience of embracing a new path and prioritizing self-care. Palmer reflects on her decision to step away from certain expectations and roles during the COVID-19 pandemic, especially as a parent. She shares her journey of learning to prioritize her child's well-being and her own needs, even when it meant deviating from her usual artistic endeavors. Palmer talks about the challenges of redefining success, setting boundaries, and finding a balance between nurturing oneself and fulfilling societal obligations. Her experiences serve as a reminder to be kind to ourselves and prioritize self-care.
On today's episode, Luis speaks with Amanda Palmer about her artistry, her life, and the art of being disliked.
At the same time Amanda co-founded the Dresden Dolls, she began blogging about her life and her career, which was the start of her continued relationship with the internet and internet culture. As Amanda's online presence increased, she always faced the extremes of responses, being both adored and hated.
Oftentimes, the fear of being disliked stops people from putting themselves out there, and they discuss how to navigate the experience. They discuss how mindfulness supports the ability to be public. They have a shared realization that "you" are just a reflection for other people, and how both angry and loving comments are more about the person making them than about you.
Amanda shares her experience of accepting help from wherever it comes from, and not being angry that it isn’t coming from where it’s “supposed to” come from.