Are You Loving Your Kids Into Debt? with Dr. Art Rainer

May 29, 2025

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We all want the best for our kids, but knowing what’s truly best isn’t always easy.

You’ve probably heard it—or said it yourself: “I just want my kids to have what I didn’t.” It sounds noble, but it can sometimes lead to financial trouble. Today, we’ll talk with Dr. Art Rainer about how that mindset can push parents into debt.

Dr. Art Rainer is the founder of the Institute for Christian Financial Health and Christian Money Solutions. He is a regular contributor here at Faith & Finance and the author of Money in the Light of Eternity: What the Bible Says about Your Financial Purpose.

6 Things That Can Lead Loving Parents Into Debt

Raising kids is one of the most joyful and rewarding callings in life, but it can also be financially challenging. As parents, we want to give our children the best: opportunities, experiences, and resources that help them flourish. But sometimes, even with the best intentions, we can fall into financial traps that lead to debt.

Here are six common ways loving parents may unintentionally sabotage their finances—and how to avoid them.

1. Trying to Keep Up with the Joneses

It’s a familiar struggle: your neighbor buys designer clothes for their kids or sends them to an elite private school, and suddenly you feel the need to do the same. But appearances can be deceiving—many people fund their lifestyle with debt. Chasing someone else’s standard is a never-ending race, and the finish line keeps moving. Be cautious of modeling your spending after others who may not be living within their means.

2. Falling into the Social Media Comparison Trap

Social media only shows the highlight reel. Perfect family vacations, overachieving kids, and pristine homes can tempt you to measure your life against a filtered illusion. These comparisons can spark discontentment and drive unnecessary purchases just to keep up appearances or ease the guilt of not "measuring up." Be mindful of how much your scrolling influences your spending.

3. Believing Your Kids Need to Have It All

From travel teams to private lessons and elite camps, extracurricular activities have become a costly arms race. While these opportunities can be beneficial, they shouldn't come at the expense of your financial health. Don’t believe the lie that your child will fall behind if they don’t do everything. It’s okay to say no, for the sake of your budget and your family’s peace.

4. Prioritizing Career Success Over Character Development

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your children to succeed in school and in life, but academic or career accomplishments should never come at the cost of neglecting their hearts. Investing in your child’s character, through time, guidance, and godly instruction, often requires less money but more intentional effort. And in the end, it matters far more.

5. Overcompensating for What You Didn’t Have

If you lacked certain things growing up, it’s natural to want your kids to have more. Whether it was a nicer bike, newer clothes, or a first car, those memories can shape how you respond as a parent. But giving in to every request—even on credit—can backfire. Love doesn’t always mean saying “yes.” Sometimes it means exercising the wisdom to say “not right now.”

6. Forgetting the Value of Doing Without

Not getting what you wanted as a kid may have helped you grow. Maybe you learned creativity, resilience, or the value of work through those experiences. Don’t rob your children of the same opportunity. Saying no might actually prepare them better for life than always saying yes.

Loving your children doesn’t mean giving them everything. It means stewarding your finances in a way that honors God and serves your family’s long-term well-being. Avoiding debt is one of the best gifts you can give your children—it provides stability, models wisdom, and frees your family to give generously.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

I called about our whole life insurance policy. We’ve paid for 10 years and only have 19,000 saved with a 150,000 death benefit. My husband provides most of our income.
What is the best first credit card for my college-aged daughter?
Can I work and collect my full Social Security, or is there a wage cap that I need to worry about? I am 66 years old.

Resources Mentioned:

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