36 Questions to Spark Love and Connection

Feb 13, 2025

Amber and Ben Wallin, a dynamic LA-based couple known for their relatable family and relationship humor on social media, discuss the potential of 36 questions to deepen love and connection. They share how these inquiries range from light-hearted to intensely personal, enhancing emotional intimacy. The duo reflects on their own dating journey and humorous communication mishaps, while emphasizing the crucial role of authentic listening and intentional conversations in fostering strong relationships.

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ANECDOTE

Meeting and Early Romance

Amber and Ben Wallin met on Tinder in 2015.
Ben wrote letters to Amber while away, which impressed her.

ANECDOTE

Reason for Trying 36 Questions

The Wallins have a two-year-old, and Amber is pregnant with their second child.
They used the 36 questions to reconnect amidst their busy lives.

INSIGHT

First Set Revelations

Even simple questions in the first set revealed things about the couple.
The questions highlighted qualities they admired in each other.

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Can a simple set of 36 questions build love and intimacy? We explore the science behind how the questions we ask and the way we listen shape our closest relationships.

Episode summary: In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we break down the science behind a practice designed to deepen connection—whether in romantic relationships or friendships. We’re joined by Amber and Ben Wallin, the hilarious and heartfelt couple who’ve shared their marriage and parenting journey with millions on TikTok. They put these 36 questions to the test. Later, we’ll dive into the power of listening and how it shapes our relationships with Yale psychologist Jieni Zhou.

This is part of our series The Science of Love, supported by The John Templeton Foundation.

Sign up for The Science of Happiness podcast's 7-Day Love Challenge to receive these science-backed practices delivered directly to your inbox: tinyurl.com/7daylovechallenge

Today’s Guests:

AMBER WALLIN is an LA-based comedian, host, and storyteller with over a million followers on TikTok and Instagram. She creates family, relationship and comedy content with her husband Ben Wallin.
Follow Amber on Instagram: @burr_iam

Follow Amber on TikTok: @burr_iam

BEN WALLIN is a writer, content creator and social media personality who creates family, relationship and comedy content with his wife Amber Wallin.

Follow Ben on Instagram: @beynfluencer

Follow Ben on TikTok: @benjaminwallin5

JIENI ZHOU is a Post-doctoral associate at Yale University and an expert in how positive experiences in romantic relationships impact our well-being.
Learn more about Jieni here: https://tinyurl.com/mr3nkf2s

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

How 7 Days Can Transform Your Relationship: https://tinyurl.com/bdh2ezhr
Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacj
Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w

Related Happiness Breaks:
Meditation on Original Love: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3
Loving Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5
Visualizing Your Best Self in Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/4797z2vf

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/ktcpz78u