In this enlightening discussion, philosopher Alexandra Plakias delves into the intricacies of awkwardness in social situations. She argues that awkwardness arises from specific contexts rather than personal flaws, contrasting it with cringe. The conversation tackles sensitive topics like the challenges of discussing death and money while navigating social discomfort. Plakias also addresses gender dynamics and how societal expectations shape experiences of awkwardness, highlighting the evolving nature of these interactions in a digital age.
Awkwardness is often associated with empathy, contrasting with cringe, which carries a negative and judgmental tone in social interactions.
A significant portion of adults identify as awkward, suggesting societal norms significantly influence perceptions of social discomfort and self-awareness.
Understanding awkwardness can help people navigate difficult conversations by developing better scripts for sensitive topics like death and illness.
Deep dives
Supporting the Podcast Through Donations
Listeners are now offered a new way to support the show through one-time donations in partnership with Pomona College, where one of the hosts teaches. These donations are tax-deductible and specifically go towards assisting students working on the podcast. Additionally, there is an ongoing support option via Patreon, which provides funding for bonus content, a Discord community, and monthly Zoom discussions with the hosts. This model fosters a greater connection between the audience and the creators while ensuring the podcast can continue to thrive.
The Perception of Awkwardness Among Americans
A recent study indicates that a significant portion of adult Americans consider themselves awkward, with 25% believing they are more awkward than others. The perception of awkwardness is even higher among younger adults, specifically around 37% of individuals aged 18 to 29. This highlights a cultural phenomenon where many individuals align with feeling socially unsure, despite it being statistically plausible that a greater number should perceive themselves otherwise. The hosts discuss this seemingly contradictory statistic, noting that it raises questions about how societal norms shape feelings of awkwardness in varied contexts.
Awkwardness vs. Cringe: Understanding the Distinctions
The podcast delves into the differences between awkwardness and cringe, explaining that awkwardness tends to evoke empathy, while cringe often carries a judgmental tone. Philosopher Thomas J. Spiegel identifies cringe as a negative response to a social misstep, contrasting it with the common experiences of awkwardness that arise from shared social situations. The conversation explores how society has shifted focus from discussing awkwardness to cringe, reflecting a transformation in social interactions and language. The hosts illustrate this distinction through personal anecdotes and cultural references, emphasizing that awkward moments can foster connection rather than disdain.
Identifying Topics that Spark Awkwardness
Many humorous topics were highlighted through a discussion on what makes people feel awkward, including situations like clogging a toilet or accidentally sending a gossipy text to the subject of gossip. Listeners shared in the collective discomfort of various scenarios, underscoring the universal nature of these experiences. Specific examples from the hosts' lives contributed to an engaging exploration of how everyday interactions can lead to social blunders that leave individuals grappling with awkwardness. These relatable moments enhance the understanding that awkwardness is a common part of the human experience.
Navigating Awkward Social Situations
Awkwardness often arises from a lack of clear social scripts in interactions, according to Alexandra Plakias, the author of 'Awkwardness, a Theory.' The hosts discuss her insights, emphasizing that understanding awkwardness can help individuals develop better scripts for approaching uncomfortable topics like death and illness. Tools such as preemptively deciding how to handle sensitive conversations can mitigate the chances of awkwardness. They also highlight the importance of acknowledging one's interactions and actively striving for connection, even in the challenging dynamics of social situations.
Clogged toilets, odious jokes, difficult condolences… awkward moments are everywhere you look. In episode 113 of Overthink, Ellie and David invite philosopher Alexandra Plakias to talk through her research on awkwardness. They discuss everything from hasty clean-ups to snap decisions, from oversharing online to uncomfortable silences, as they explore the ways that awkwardness is bound up with power, morality, and the core scripts of our social expectations. Where does cringe end and awkwardness begin? Are we living through especially awkward times? Who gets to decide what is awkward? And, what if awkward people… don’t exist at all? Plus, in the bonus, they discuss The Office, weddings, weird eye contact, and more.
Works Discussed Sara Ahmed, The Promise of Happiness Adam Kotsko, Awkwardness Alexandra Plakias, Awkwardness: A Theory & “Awkward? We’d Better Own it” Thomas J. Spiegel, “Cringe” YouGov poll, "Awkwardness"
Modem Futura Modem Futura is your guide to the bold frontiers of tomorrow, where technology,...