Time with Tim Fletcher

Tim Talk | Why You Don't Know Who You Are | The Characteristics of Complex Trauma

Sep 11, 2025
Many people with Complex Trauma struggle to know their true identity due to early survival adaptations. Tim explains how childhood roles and masks can obscure authenticity. He discusses how trauma stifles curiosity, disconnecting individuals from their internal lives and blocking self-knowledge. The podcast frames identity through personality, skills, and passions, while offering tools like personality quizzes and new activities to rediscover the self. Tim emphasizes the needs for patience and safe environments on the journey towards understanding who you truly are.
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INSIGHT

Masks Replace Authenticity

  • Children from complex trauma learn to wear masks because being authentic got them punished or rejected.
  • Early survival roles replace authenticity and obscure the true self.
INSIGHT

Curiosity Is Disabled By Survival

  • Survival mode shuts down curiosity and cortical function, preventing exploration of talents.
  • Without curiosity and safe play, children can’t develop a sense of who they are.
ANECDOTE

Parent Control Stifles Exploration

  • Some children become servants or are forced into parents' dreams, losing time to explore hobbies and passions.
  • Controlling parents dictate careers and activities, preventing identity development.
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