Talking with Your Family About Pornography with Aszia Pearson

On the twenty first episode of the Family Discipleship Podcast the hosts (Adam Griffin and Chelsea Griffin) talk about an important topic with their friend, Aszia Pearson. 

Questions we talked about in this episode: 

• Why does a podcast about spiritual leadership spend an episode talking about pornography?
• What age families should be thinking about this? 
• Where are you seeing issues with pornography in church families? 
• What are the dangers and the damage done by exposure to pornography for kids? 
• How can families who’ve never talked about sex, think about talking about pornography? 
• How should we help our kids think about devices, movies, and things their friends might show them? 
• What do you say to the parent who is struggling themselves with pornography? 
• Are there any helpful resources for families to help them have this conversation? 
• What scriptures come to mind for you when you think about addressing this topic with your family? 
• How do you set yourself up for success in a conversation of this importance with your family? How can parents approach this well? 
• What if we catch our sons or daughters looking at it, how do we approach the conversation with the appropriate weight and grace? 
• Sometimes in a church we create a purity culture that makes sex seem dirty. How do we talk about pornography with our kids without making sex something the Lord hasn’t made it?  
• Any thoughts about what Aszia is saying there and about purity culture in a church?  
• That’s a lot about why and how to have the talk, but what about preventing exposure? What do you guys think we can do to keep our kids away from it? 
• How can we make conversations about this more normal and comfortable even for our kids to initiate? 
• How can churches navigate sensitive topics like this with families and for kids whose families are not talking about this? 

Some of our favorite quotes from this episode:

• “Ultimately we want to see our kids be freed up by the gospel of Christ. Pornography in its very nature is addictive and it runs opposed to the God of the universe who’s made people in his image. Where we objectify people, or comidify people, that is offensive to the holy God that we serve who made us.” - Chelsea Griffin
• “God created us with special dignity. Where we fail to dignify people by lusting after them in our hearts – exploiting, objectifying – these things are offensive to God. When we do things that are an offense to God it hurts our ability to draw near to him.” - Chelsea Griffin
• “Kids aren’t just getting exposed to things they’re not ready for, they’re getting exposed to things that no eye should see and no ear should hear. And that’s a problem because the eye is never satisfied with seeing and the ear is never satisfied with hearing. Even though for most people that initial exposure has some cocktail of arousal and interest, as well as shame and terror.” - Aszia Pearson
• “We believe God designed people for one, long-term, monogamous, sexual relationship and not only is pornography offensive to that it is detrimental to it.” - Adam Griffin 
• “If you believe that something would be harmful for your kid to watch then you should consider it harmful for yourself.” - Adam Griffin
• “It’s important to start with God’s good design for sex and his hopes for us. God gives us good gifts and we sometimes pervert those things and we twist those things thinking that we have a better idea of what to do with creation than God himself does. We have to resubmit ourselves to his authority.” - Chelsea Griffin
• “We have to be ready to give things up. I would rather not have a phone if it is dragging me into something addictive and destructive, that is searing my soul. I would rather not be in a group text with the right color texts than have something in my pocket that tempts me and lures me in.” - Chelsea Griffin  
• “The same way we don’t look through our neighbors window and watch them have sex, we don’t look through our screens and watch people have sex.” - Chelsea Griffin
• “Can a man carry fire close to his chest and not be burned?” Proverbs 6:27
• “The right tone is not one of fear or alarm.” - Cassie Bryant

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Pure Hope
• Good Picture, Bad Picture
• God Made All of Me
• “Christ calls us to care for those living in poverty—including parents working hard for their children’s future. Download your free copy of Created to Flourish: How Employment-Based Solutions Help Eradicate Poverty, to learn how. HOPE International fights physical and spiritual poverty in 16 countries through Christ-centered microenterprise development.”

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To read more about family discipleship, check out the book Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones by Adam Griffin and Matt Chandler. 

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