Generational Trauma, Money Miscommunication, And Mixed-Income Dating: Financial Therapist Q&A
Nov 6, 2023
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Financial therapist Wendy Wright discusses the impact of money on relationships and the importance of open communication. Topics include generational traumas, financial stress, high-yield savings accounts, navigating financial baggage, addressing red flags, observing behaviors in dating, and communicating about money.
Money narratives and past experiences shape our mindset and emotions around money, emphasizing the need to reframe our thinking and learn effective communication to work together on financial matters.
Financial problems are often emotionally driven, with a lack of knowledge accounting for only a small percentage, highlighting the importance of addressing feelings, fears, and guilt surrounding money to foster healthier financial behavior.
Open and judgment-free communication about financial goals, values, and concerns is crucial in relationships, along with early awareness of financial red flags and the importance of setting boundaries and seeking professional support if needed.
Deep dives
Importance of Money and Relationships
Money has a significant impact on relationships, often leading to stress, conflicts, and divorce. It affects not only marriages but also friendships, family dynamics, and our relationship with ourselves. Money narratives, traumas, and past experiences shape our mindset and emotions around money. Financial therapist Wendy Wright emphasizes the need to reframe our thinking and learn effective communication to work together on financial matters.
Financial Therapy and its Approach
Wendy applies a therapeutic approach to her work with individuals and couples, combining her background as a licensed marriage and family therapist and a trained money coach. Many individuals and couples seek her help when money becomes a major stressor or a constant source of conflict in their lives. Wendy focuses on creating a safe space for open communication, encouraging self-reflection, and helping clients overcome shame, beliefs, and emotions that hinder healthy financial behaviors.
Recognizing the Emotional Side of Money
Research shows that a significant percentage of financial decisions are emotionally driven. Wendy emphasizes that 20-30% of financial problems are due to a lack of knowledge, while the rest are more about emotions, shame, beliefs, and past experiences. Many individuals and couples harbor anxiety, fear, or guilt when it comes to money. Opening up about these feelings and fostering an attitude of compassion and curiosity allows for healthier financial behavior.
Communication and Financial Compatibility in Relationships
Open and effective communication about money is vital in relationships. Couples need to discuss their financial goals, values, and mindset to ensure financial compatibility. It is important to create a judgment-free space for honest conversations about money, where each partner can express their feelings, fears, and aspirations. Wendy suggests having regular 'money dates' but also highlights the need for affection, respect, and understanding in the overall dynamics of the relationship.
Navigating Financial Red Flags in Relationships
Early on in a relationship, it is crucial to be aware of financial red flags. Resistance or avoidance when discussing money can be a warning sign that there may be deeper issues or lack of compatibility regarding financial matters. Wendy advises open communication about money concerns, setting boundaries, and determining each partner's financial goals and expectations early in the relationship. It is important to address any financial abuse, respect differences, and seek professional support if needed.
Chelsea speaks with financial therapist Wendy Wright to ask the tough money questions many of encounter in our relationships.
Wendy's business, Financial Therapy Solutions: https://www.financialtherapysolutions.com/
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