3 Gifts to Give Your Children | Parenting on Purpose | Part 2
Nov 5, 2023
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The podcast discusses the challenges of parenting and the negative effects of giving too much to children. It explores the importance of community, standards, and faith in nurturing children's spiritual growth. The speaker emphasizes the role of parents in shaping their children's lives and the benefits of setting higher standards. The chapter also touches on the importance of genuine faith and forgiveness in parenting.
Teaching children the value of earning blessings through setting expectations and instilling a good work ethic and gratitude can prepare them for the future.
Parents should focus on praising their children's effort and the process of their achievements, cultivating confidence and reliance on God's approval rather than seeking validation from others.
Deep dives
Giving them things they didn't earn
One mistake parents often make is giving their children things they didn't earn. This can happen when kids throw a tantrum in the grocery store and parents give in to their demands. Society also reinforces entitlement with participation awards that don't require any effort. However, parents should aim to teach their children the value of earning blessings. This can be done by setting expectations, such as completing chores before being allowed to play video games or contributing to the cost of purchasing a car or phone. By teaching them the importance of earning what they desire, parents can instill a good work ethic and gratitude in their children.
Praising them undeservedly
Parents often make the mistake of praising their children excessively, even when it's not warranted. Overpraising can actually harm children by robbing them of confidence and creating anxiety. It may also lead to a reliance on external validation instead of inner motivation. Instead of overly praising their children's inherent abilities, parents should focus on praising their effort and the process of their achievements. For example, instead of calling them the smartest, parents can praise the hard work put into a school project or the faithfulness and work ethic displayed in different areas of life. This helps cultivate confidence and a reliance on God's approval rather than seeking validation from others.
Giving them freedoms they can't handle
Parents often make the mistake of giving their children freedoms they can't handle. They may be overprotective in some areas, yet foolishly naive in others. For example, parents may prohibit their 12-year-old from crossing the street alone, but then give them full access to a cell phone without considering its potential negative impacts. Gradually transferring dependence from parents to God is crucial, but it is important to be mindful of the freedoms provided. Parents should create boundaries and guidelines that align with their children's level of responsibility and maturity. By doing so, children can learn to navigate the complexities of the world with the necessary tools and support.
Giving them a community, a standard, and a faith worth having
To help children become fully devoted followers of Christ, parents should aim to provide them with a community worth having, a standard worth achieving, and a faith worth sharing. Creating a Christ-centered community where children can engage with like-minded friends who share their faith can significantly impact their spiritual growth. This community can be nurtured through active participation in church activities, life groups, or even intentional friendships within a Christ-centered context. Additionally, parents should set high standards for their children, encouraging them to strive for excellence in their relationship with God. By raising the standard, parents can help children understand the importance of living a life that honors God and embraces spiritual disciplines like Bible reading, memorization, and prayer. Finally, parents should model and encourage a genuine faith that is worth sharing with others. By prioritizing God's word and making spiritual conversations a part of daily life, parents can help foster a vibrant faith in their children that they will be excited to share with others.
As parents, we want to give our kids the best. But what if the things we’re giving them are hurting instead of helping? In this message, learn what you can give your children to prepare them for the future.
ABOUT THIS MESSAGE
Children are a gift, but let's be honest, parenting's complicated. Am I doing it right? Am I messing them up? How do I even know the difference? Let's talk about it in our new series, Parenting on Purpose.
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