The Hidden Trauma of Male Rape | Consent, Myths & Healing

Male rape remains one of the most silenced and misunderstood forms of sexual trauma. In this powerful episode of The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast, Dr Marianne Trent speaks with Connor Whiteley, clinical psychology master’s student and host of The Psychology World Podcast, who courageously shares his lived experience of male sexual violence.

Together, they explore the realities of male rape, the consent myths that keep survivors silent, and why understanding shame and recovery is vital for healing. The conversation tackles misconceptions about erections, freezing during assault, and why men often struggle to seek help or report what has happened.

Connor also shares his recovery journey — from denial and panic attacks to seeking specialist trauma therapy — and offers practical advice for survivors, mental-health professionals, and allies.

This episode sheds light on a taboo topic and invites us to build a culture of compassion, safety, and understanding for all survivors of sexual trauma. Whether you’re a psychologist, therapist, trainee, student, or survivor, this conversation will deepen your insight into consent, trauma, and healing.

Content note: We discuss sexual violence in clear, respectful language. Please take care while listening. If you need support, consider contacting SARSAS, SurvivorsUK, Rape Crisis England & Wales, or your local service.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction: Breaking the silence on male rape
• 01:08 – Safety warning and trigger guidance
• 02:32 – How common is male sexual violence?
• 05:00 – Media representation and harmful myths
• 06:57 – Understanding the freeze response
• 07:44 – Why “enthusiastic consent” matters
• 09:15 – Challenging stereotypes and gender myths
• 11:18 – The truth about erections and consent
• 13:33 – Therapeutic reflections and global examples
• 15:42 – Healing, therapy, and coping strategies
• 19:46 – Integrating trauma into recovery
• 20:47 – Reporting to police and physical aftercare
• 21:45 – De-shaming and self-compassion in recovery
• 24:45 – Final reflections and resources

Links:

📲 www.connorwhiteley.net/podcast

📚Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook by Erika Shershun: https://amzn.to/48DMaxn

📚 Books by Connor Whiteley: https://amzn.to/47f6Zgc

🫶 To support me by donating to help cover my costs for the free resources I provide click here: https://the-aspiring-psychologist.captivate.fm/support

📚 To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0

📖 To check out The Aspiring Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3CP2N97

💡 To check out or join the aspiring psychologist membership for just £30 per month head to: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/membership-interested

🖥️ Check out my brand new short courses for aspiring psychologists and mental health professionals here: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/short-courses

✍️ Get your Supervision Shaping Tool now: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/supervision

📱Connect socially with Marianne and check out ways to work with her, including the Aspiring Psychologist Book, Clinical Psychologist book and The Aspiring Psychologist Membership on her Link tree: https://linktr.ee/drmariannetrent

💬 To join my free Facebook group and discuss your thoughts on this episode and more: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aspiringpsychologistcommunity

Like, Comment, Subscribe & get involved:

If you enjoy the podcast, please do subscribe and rate and review episodes. If you'd like to learn how to record and submit your own audio testimonial to be included in future shows head to: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/podcast and click the blue request info button at the top of the page.

Hashtags:

#malerape #malesexualassault