Alicia M. Walker and Arielle Kuperberg, "Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life" (Bloomsbury, 2025)

Oct 4, 2025

Arielle Kuperberg and Alicia M. Walker, sociology professors and co-authors, delve into their groundbreaking research on BDSM. They explore how practices like clear communication and enthusiastic consent contribute to happiness in relationships. The discussion challenges stereotypes, revealing that BDSM fosters trust, community, and authentic connections. The authors also share insights on the role of creativity within the BDSM community and discuss the surprising ways these practices can enhance intimacy and personal fulfillment, making it a fascinating listen for anyone curious about human relationships.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

BDSM Offers Transferable Happiness Lessons

BDSM practices package communication, community, creativity, and boundary work into a set of practices that boost wellbeing.
Walker and Kuperberg argue these features offer lessons anyone can apply to build happier relationships.

ADVICE

Negotiate Desires And Limits Explicitly

Speak explicitly about desires and limits instead of assuming love will make sex work itself out.
Negotiate what you want and accept clear yes/no answers from partners.

INSIGHT

Debunking Pathology Stereotypes

Common stereotypes (child abuse, trauma, mental illness) do not explain BDSM participation.
Kuperberg says research shows practitioners are not more mentally ill nor primarily driven by past trauma.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Why are BDSM practitioners so happy? It turns out, BDSM isn't just about whips and chains.
With engaging stories and a warm, conversational tone, Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life (Bloomsbury Acacdemic, 2025) by Dr. Alicia M. Walker and Dr. Arielle Kuperberg reveals how BDSM practitioners use clear boundaries, enthusiastic consent, open dialogue, and a strong community to create fulfilling relationships and build richer, more intentional lives. Drawing on research from the largest scientific study of BDSM ever conducted, Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg demonstrate that the BDSM community's approach to trust and vulnerability offers a valuable model for building intimacy and fostering authentic connections. BDSM also allows practitioners to exercise their creativity and break the mold - whether it comes to trying out new practices in the bedroom or bending ideas about gender.
Whether you're vanilla, kinky, or just here for the life advice, this book -packed with humor and insight-is a refreshingly open-minded guide to building stronger relationships, deeper intimacy, and a more intentional approach to connection.

Michael O. Johnston, Ph.D. is a Assistant Professor of Sociology at William Penn University. He is the author of The Social Construction of a Cultural Spectacle: Floatzilla (Lexington Books, 2023) and Community Media Representations of Place and Identity at Tug Fest: Reconstructing the Mississippi River (Lexington Books, 2022). His general area of study is at the intersection of space, behavior, and identity. He is currently conducting research about: escape rooms, the use of urban design in downtown historical neighborhoods of rural communities, and what it means for college students to belong in college and university. To learn more about Michael O. Johnston you can go to his personal website, Google Scholar, Bluesky (@professorjohnst.bsky.social), Twitter (@ProfessorJohnst), or by email (johnstonmo@wmpenn.edu).

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network