rich & REGULAR with Kiersten and Julien Saunders

Ep 193: How we say no when people ask for money

Dec 23, 2024

Discover the power of saying 'no' and protect your financial sanity. The hosts share personal stories about awkward money requests from friends, revealing the emotional toll of holiday giving. They tackle survivor's guilt and how a lifetime of people-pleasing can breed resentment. Essential tactics for gracefully declining financial asks are discussed, alongside the concept that letting others solve their own problems might be the best help. This conversation is perfect for those struggling to balance generosity with personal boundaries.

49:21

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Saying no is an essential skill that protects personal finances, yet many struggle due to social pressures and guilt.

Emotional ties complicate financial requests, necessitating the need for individuals to set boundaries to avoid resentment.

Differentiating between reactive and intentional generosity helps create a budget for giving that aligns with personal values and goals.

Deep dives

The Importance of Saying No

Saying no is a crucial skill that can help protect personal finances and relationships. The podcast emphasizes that many people struggle with this due to guilt, social pressures, and the desire to maintain appearances. It is also noted that financial requests, from small favors to larger donations, add up significantly over time, draining budgets unexpectedly. Ultimately, being able to say no allows individuals to uphold their financial goals without damaging their relationships.

Intro

3min

Navigating Financial Boundaries

10min

Mastering the Art of Saying No

10min

Redefining Philanthropy: The Impact of Strategic Giving

3min

The Art of Saying No: Navigating Financial Support

21min

Embracing Authenticity and Navigating Expectations

2min

This week we’re diving headfirst into the one word that can save your budget and your sanity: No

Julien kicks things off with some personal stories about recent awkward moments when "friends" ask for money, which sets the stage for a much-needed conversation.

For some of us, saying "no" can feel just plain wrong, especially during the season of giving. This isn't your typical "budget better" advice, we're going deep into why saying "no" is so dang hard.

But we don’t stop there. We also discuss:

Holiday pressure and how the “season of giving” turns our good hearts into overdrawn bank accounts
Survivor's guilt and our responsibility to lift as we climb
How a lifetime of people-pleasing can leave you feeling resentful
How to say no to: acquaintances who suddenly need "just a little help", family and friends, and people you've helped before
Actual useful tactics that work in real life, from setting dedicated budgets to learning the art of the "alternative offer," and how to say no without feeling like a total jerk
Why "they'll figure it out" is so powerful and how letting people solve their own problems might be the best help you can give

This is a vulnerable episode for anyone who finds themselves saying "yes" just to avoid being rude, or because they think being generous is the only way to be a good person. We've been there, and hopefully, you find this helpful.

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