The podcast discusses the impact of long-term relationships and the line between intimacy and codependence. It explores the shifting attitudes towards marriage, the power of lifelong friendships, and obtaining the benefits of marriage through other relationships. The chapter also highlights the importance of enduring relationships and references relevant articles and psychological theories.
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Quick takeaways
Intimate relationships can trigger mental health issues despite offering protection and stress-buffering capabilities.
Maintaining individual identity and nurturing relationships outside of the primary partnership is crucial for a healthy long-term relationship, leading to increased passionate love between couples.
Deep dives
Long-term romantic relationships and psychopathology
A review article suggests that intimate relationships can be triggers for mental health issues, contradicting the commonly held belief that they offer protection and buffer against stress. The article argues that while relationships can be beneficial, they can also lead to suffering and mental health problems.
Shifting cultural attitudes towards marriage
Marriage rates are dropping, and fewer people see marriage as essential for a fulfilling life. Wealthier and more educated individuals are more likely to be married, while those who are less educated and less wealthy are less likely to be married. A study also shows that satisfaction with being single increases with age after midlife.
The importance of love-life balance
Maintaining a sense of individual identity and nurturing relationships outside of one's primary romantic partnership is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling long-term relationship. Couples who engage in activities and socialize with other couples tend to experience more passionate love for each other.
The health benefits of long-term relationships
Research suggests that married individuals generally live longer, eat better, and engage in fewer unhealthy behaviors compared to unmarried individuals. Being in a committed relationship can provide support and motivation for positive health behaviors.
Can long-term relationships do more harm than good? Where is the line between intimacy and codependence? And should we all try to be more like Mike’s parents?
Eli Finkel, professor of psychology and of management and organizations at Northwestern University.
Katie Genadek, economist at the U.S. Census Bureau and faculty research associate at the Institute for Behavioral Science at the University of Colorado, Boulder.
Faith Hill, senior associate editor of culture at The Atlantic.