Reclaiming the Power of Words, Identity, and Intimacy in a Hypersexualized Culture - w/ Tim Muehlhoff (Sex, Love, and God Series)

Oct 23, 2017

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How the Book of Song of Solomon redefines intimacy, communication, and self-worth in the noise of a synthetic, sex-saturated culture. In this honest and wide-ranging conversation, Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff draw from 17 years of teaching at Family Life Marriage Conferences to unpack how biblical wisdom radically challenges cultural narratives around sex, self-esteem, and relationships. Through a deep dive into Song of Solomon chapters 5 and 7, they explore how words shape not just our relationships with others, but our very identities—and how that truth can restore intimacy and security in marriage.

Key Takeaways: • The Spoken Word as Sacred Power – In an age of endless tweets, texts, and reels, the biblical perspective insists that every word has eternal significance. “Reckless words,” Proverbs warns, “can break bones.” • Unrealistic Cultural Expectations – From romance movies to diet culture, today’s media constantly distorts our understanding of beauty, value, and love—leaving many, especially women, wrestling with shame and inadequacy. • A Common Sexual Illiteracy – Most adults weren't given healthy narratives or tools for talking about sex. As Tim humorously admits, “Everything I learned about sex came from the high school football team and pornography.” • Song of Solomon’s Countercultural Beauty – Both the male and female voices in Song of Solomon affirm each other's beauty, not through comparison, but through cherishing language, dignity, and shared companionship—offering a radically liberating vision of sexuality. • Self-Esteem and the Michelangelo Effect – You shape your partner. “You get the spouse you deserve—because you create them.” Speaking consistent, personal, life-giving truth to your spouse can literally sculpt their self-image over time.

Guest Highlights: Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff – Marriage educators with Family Life and Bible professors at Biola University. Their dynamic, honest teaching unpacks cultural scripts, biblical truth, and the vulnerability of authentic communication in marriage.

Resources Mentioned: • FamilyLife Marriage Conferences – familylife.com • Song of Solomon Chapters 5 and 7 – Bible Gateway • “Love Life” by Ed Wheat – Amazon Link • “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman – Amazon Link • Dove Campaign for Real Beauty / Evolution Video – YouTube • Simply Romantic Nights – familylife.com Resource • John Gottman's work on marriage and communication – gottman.com • Dennis Rainey’s parenting resources – familylife.com • “Hooked” by Joe S. McIlhaney Jr. and Freda McKissic Bush – Amazon Link

Join the conversation and let’s rethink how we talk about love, sex, and identity in a way shaped by grace, wisdom, and the beauty of God’s design. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to the Voxology Podcast, leave us a review, and follow along on social media.

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Music in this episode by Timothy John Stafford

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