Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast When To Speak Up, When To Bite Your Tongue: Dr. Lawrence Steinberg on Parent-Adult Child Dynamics
Dr. Lawrence Steinberg sheds light on the evolving relationship between parents and their adult children in today's challenging economic landscape, offering practical advice on when to speak up and when to bite your tongue. He explains how the elongation of adolescence and unprecedented financial pressures have transformed traditional parent-child dynamics.
• Housing costs have risen five times faster than salaries, creating barriers to independence for young adults
• Living with parents is now the most common arrangement for Americans in their 20s
• Financial support creates complex dynamics about expectations and boundaries
• Follow the "40-70 rule": discuss finances before parents turn 70 or children turn 40
• Only offer unsolicited advice when your child faces potentially irreparable harmful consequences
• Frame concerns as questions rather than directives to preserve your child's autonomy
• Adult children experience a "third autonomy crisis" around age 30
• When grandparenting, recognize that parenting advice changes generationally
• Focus on making your adult children feel confident and competent as parents
• Stop judging your child's progress by the timetable you followed at their age
Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
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