Diving into the complexities of adult friendships, the hosts explore why real connections are harder to maintain as life gets busier. They share personal stories about navigating toxic relationships, including a cautionary tale about an abusive best friend. The struggle to form new bonds in middle age is examined, alongside humorous takes on awkward social dynamics. With reflections on the emotional rollercoaster of friendship, they emphasize the importance of empathy, boundaries, and recognizing the need for supportive relationships in tumultuous times.
Past experiences with toxic friendships can deeply influence one's perception of relationships and trust in adulthood.
Engaging in shared activities fosters genuine connections, emphasizing the importance of common interests in forming new friendships.
Quality relationships in smaller friend groups often yield healthier dynamics and reduce unnecessary conflict, highlighting the value of meaningful interactions.
Deep dives
Navigating Friendship Difficulties
The speaker reflects on their challenging experiences with friendships, especially highlighting an abusive friendship from high school. This experience involved fear and physical intimidation, leading to profound emotional scars that impacted their perception of friendship for years. The speaker also realizes that high school friendships were often based on shared interests rather than genuine connection, further complicating the foundation for lasting relationships. These past struggles underscore the complexity of forming healthy friendships as an adult, revealing the trauma that can linger from unhealthy dynamics.
The Role of Shared Activities
Engagement in shared activities, such as pickleball playing or participating in community events, has become a way for the speaker to form new friendships. They express joy in connecting with new individuals over fun activities, indicating that common interests often spark genuine relationships. However, the speaker admits that making new friends can be a daunting task, complicating their adult social life. This reliance on shared activities to forge connections highlights the struggle to build deeper friendships post-graduation.
The Complexity of Friend Groups
The speaker discusses their comfort in having a close-knit friend group versus a larger circle, noting the potential drama associated with bigger friendships. They reflect on their preference for smaller groups, suggesting that this dynamic reduces tension and fosters healthier interactions. This perspective is rooted in their past experiences with toxic friendships and the desire to avoid unnecessary conflicts. This realization emphasizes the importance of quality over quantity in friendships, prioritizing meaningful connections over a vast network.
Toxic Relationships Impacting Trust
The speaker recounts their struggles with a close friend named David, revealing instances of emotional neglect and manipulative behavior. Through various anecdotes, it becomes clear that David frequently undermined the speaker's self-esteem, contributing to a toxic friendship dynamic. This relationship not only harmed the speaker but also made them cautious in forming new connections, as they grapple with trust issues. The experience serves as a reminder of how deeply personal relationships can affect one's sense of self-worth and confidence.
The Evolving Definition of Friendship
The conversation shifts to how friendships naturally evolve over time, especially as life circumstances change and different social circles emerge. As the speaker grows older, they realize the importance of reassessing friendships based on mutual respect and emotional support. There is an acknowledgment that friendship does not always equate to frequency of contact; rather, it is also about quality interactions and genuine support. This nuanced understanding reflects a maturity in how they perceive and engage in friendships moving forward.
Appreciation of True Friendship
The podcast ends with an emotional acknowledgment of the significance of having supportive friends who are there during tough times. The speaker expresses gratitude for their close friends who prioritize their well-being and understand when they need space. Thereโs a recognition that true friendship involves commitment and the ability to be vulnerable with one another. This reflection solidifies the idea that lasting friendships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and kindness, highlighting the overall value of supportive social connections.
Friends - everyone needs them, but why are real ones so hard to find? Spoiler alert: it doesn't get easier once you're an adult. In fact it gets even more complicated once you throw work, spouses, and everyone doing their own thing into the mix. Episode 8 is about the best and worst parts of friendship, from the toxicity and cliques to the people you meet who make all of the drama worthwhile.
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๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ถ (โ @trykarat ) - IG: https://www.instagram.com/erictway
co-founder of Karat Financial, helping creators with finances
๐๐ต๐น๐ผ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ต๐ถ๐ต โ ( @chloeshih ) IG: / https://www.instagram.com/chloe.shih/
tech product manager sharing perspectives on career, life advice, and living in your 30s.
Editor: Jayna Benito
๐๐๐พ๐๐ผ๐๐ ๐ธ
โ instagram โ https://www.instagram.com/jomo.pod
โ spotify โ https://spoti.fi/466BRP3
โ apple podcasts โ https://bit.ly/jomo-apple
โ tiktok โ https://www.tiktok.com/@jomopod
โ discord โ https://discord.gg/udRmVpf3Xv
๐พ๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
0:00 repressed memories
0:36 Chloe is injured
2:06 Ericโs new friends
3:03 Ericโs crazy ig stories
4:45 not having a friend group ft. ericโs kitty socks
6:53 abusive best friends
9:08 the Bay Area clique
10:39 when did Chloe make her first best friend
11:57 Chloeโs high school and college bullies
16:09 Chloeโs a$$hole roommate
22:43 SF housing drama
28:42 thereโs no good definition of friendship
31:33 Ericโs struggle making friends
35:50 Eric couldnโt find roommates at Harvard
37:34 Chloeโs old high school crush
42:27 letโs talk about adult friendships
44:51 deciding how people slot into your life. How close are we?
49:50 Chloeโs friendship bar
52:08 Chloeโs highkey sus mentor
56:15 reference checking friends
57:08 criteria for making friends
1:00:44 when business changes friendships
1:03:02 have you ever been a groomsman/woman?
1:05:34 the complications of work friendships
1:07:47 this toxic coworker had a big crush on Chloe
1:12:39 can men and women be friends?
1:14:50 being pressured to constantly hang out
1:17:57 what Chloe appreciates about Eric
1:19:38 what Eric appreciates about Chloe
๐ง business: jomo.chat@gmail.com
#jomopod #joyofmissingout #chloeshih #ericwei #careerpodcast #career #contentcreator #startup #friendship #adultfriendship
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