An Interview with Holli Kenley, MA on Surviving Betrayal

An Interview with Holli Kenley, MA on Surviving Betrayal. Mental Help Net (www.mentalhelp.net) presents the Wise Counsel Podcast (wisecounsel.mentalhelp.net), hosted by David Van Nuys, Ph.D. Ms. Kenley became highly attuned to the idea of betrayal after noting it as a common theme in multiple clients and dealing with it in her own life. Her efforts to understand what people refer to when they say "betrayed" resulted in her identification of three common experiences or states of being: confusion, worthlessness, and powerlessness, which she describes as stages that occur in that order, respectively. The difficulty a person will have in processing a betrayal and moving through these stages is affected by multiple factors, including one's personality or ego strength, the degree to which the betrayal affects identity investments in particular social roles, and the chronicity of the betrayal (whether it is a single event or a recurring theme). People who have experienced multiple and chronic betrayals may find that they are dealing with a pool of residual betrayal, in that they have come to identify themselves as a victim and self-effiacy is low. Such stored or institutionalized betrayal must be addressed and worked through in therapy or the client's progress may stall. An important componant of this work involves helping the client move from a passive/victim core sense of self to a more active and empowered persona capable of self-authorship and able to right herself. This shift from passive victim identity to a self-authoring identity opens up the possibility of anger and blame, which must also be worked through so as not to become the new basis for the client's identity, as this is also a trap.