#131: How to Handle Sibling Fights with Ralphie Jacobs

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What if sibling rivalry isn’t something to fix, but something kids actually need?

In this episode, we sit down with Ralphie Jacobs, founder of Simply On Purpose. She’s a mom of four, holds a degree in early childhood education, and has spent years turning her curiosity about child development into practical parenting wisdom.

We get into the messy reality of siblings fighting and why it’s not only unavoidable but also essential for growth. Ralphie shares how to know when to step in, when to step back, and how to shift the way we see conflict so it doesn’t push our kids apart but helps them build stronger bonds.

You’ll Learn:

• The reason sibling rivalry shows up in every multi-child home
• What happens when parents label normal behavior as a fixed character trait
• The link between sibling conflict and stronger skills in communication, negotiation, and resilience
• The damage of comparing kids and creating competition inside the family
• Why it often backfires when parents insert adult meaning into childhood struggles
• Why most kids’ misbehavior is inconsequential and how shifting perspective changes everything
• The simple shift from making things “fair” to meeting each child’s individual needs
• How one-on-one time with older kids lowers rivalry and strengthens bonds
• The stop–redirect–reinforce approach for handling physical conflict safely
• Why focusing on the good reduces 80% of junk behavior without constant correction

Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction

[04:25] Why sibling rivalry can be healthy and how parents can respond wisely

[09:51] How labeling children shapes their identity and how parents can guide with compassion

[17:32] Fostering sibling connection by avoiding comparisons and focusing on individual needs

[25:36] Why one-on-one time with older children reduces sibling rivalry and builds security

[32:12] When to step into sibling arguments and when to let kids work it out

[42:10] Why parents should avoid negative labels and focus on guiding developmental behavior

[44:00] Creating a calm home by focusing on what really matters in parenting

Join Ralphie for a LIVE webinar and learn scientifically proven strategies to decrease fighting in your home, Sibling Rivalry: What Helps and What Doesn't

Learn more from Ralphie on the Simply On Purpose website. You can also follow her on Instagram.

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